Emilie's bedroom

Subject: Emilie's bedroom Sat Jun 30, 2012 8:02 pm

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Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Sat Jun 30, 2012 8:16 pm

In late afternoon, after the ceremony, Emilie enter the room with Olympe and look around, the air moved, recognizing each furniture, she feel getting nostalgical in seeing the familiar bedroom where she have spend her first times in England and also her first journey at court after having acquire her castle and give birth to her daughter, she is glad to see that all is tidy, then she join the couch and sat with her by her side and start to chat nicely, trying to hide the deep pain that she feel as she think to her dear friend Margaret at each instant.

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Mon Jul 02, 2012 7:54 pm

Emilie join her rooms after the ceremony, she enter and join fastly her armchair and let her tears flow again, even if she think that she must remain strong, she can't prevent from feel terrible pain of the lost of this wonderful woman who was Margaret.
She think to her daughter, feeling the need to hold her in her arms, hug her tightly, see her smiles and hear her laughs, but she don't want to show herself to her little angel with her face and eyes still full of tears and make her feel sad at her turn, with feelings that at her age, she can't understand.
She sigh heavely and think to Mary, her friend, to her deep sadness that she hope to can appease at last a bit, she then think to the preparation of the lunch, trying to think to something of rational for forget, at last for a little while, this immense lack that Margaret have let in passing away, but she realize that it's better to wait for her arrival for prepare anything.
Then she think again to Margaret, see again the images of her best memories with her, she feel like if Margaret was there, invisible but very close, a warm, lightful and soft presence all around her that remain of her best friend, she imagine her relieving to don't suffer anymore and her happiness to be reunited with her brother, father, mother and all thoses who loved her and have leave before her and she feel appeased at this thought.

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Tue Jul 03, 2012 1:34 am

After the ceremony I walked through corridor towards Emilie's chambers.Even if I was still weak I needed to see my dear friend.I took a deep breath and knocked gently at her door.

''Emilie it is me Mary....May I come in?''

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Tue Jul 03, 2012 7:52 pm

In hearing knocking to her door and Mary's clear voice, Emilie get out of her deep thoughts, answer her softly while getting up from her armchair.

Of course, please come in, my dear.

She wipe the tears off her eyes and walk to the doorway for join her.

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Tue Jul 03, 2012 8:17 pm

I sighed and slowly entered in room.

''Emilie,my dear''

I said and hugged her gently.

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Tue Jul 03, 2012 10:01 pm

Emilie the air sad, feeling worried about her, look deep in her eyes that are still reddened of tears like hers and hug her back and answer her softly.

Mary, my dear Mary.

What happened, this so early injust death, is so terrible that she hardly find words for evocate it, she release her softly and take her arm in a gesture of support and notice that her skin is cold in spite of the warmess of the air of the palace in the early summer.

Come to seat with me on the sofa, you look so weakened, my poor and so dear friend.

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Wed Jul 04, 2012 12:47 am

I sat down weakly on the sofa.I was so very tired, but with little strength that have, I managed to look at her.Her eyes was red probably like mine and in her face I could see sorrow.I knew how much she loved Margaret,she was her best friend after all.

''I am fine Emilie..just a little tired''

I said, squeezing her hand gently.

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Wed Jul 04, 2012 7:06 pm

Emilie sat by Mary's side on the sofa, she feel the immense tiredness, weakness and sadness of her friend, feeling herself so very sad of her lost, but needing to remain strong for be able to support and comfort Mary of her better and tell with her softer voice.

I know you better than that Mary, I can see how tired and weak you are, your palor and the rings under your pretty eyes betray you. You hadn't to hide it to me and if you need to cry, don't refrain your tears, there isn't shame to have, princess, countess, royals, nobles or, commoners we all are only humans, poors and weaks humans.

She lean her head to Mary's shoulder tenderly and tell her.

I know how much you loved her and I am sure that she knowed it too, and I know that she loved you very much too, so her soul will never leave you.

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Wed Jul 04, 2012 7:54 pm

I nodded to her weakly.

''You know me to well,my dear Emilie...I am not a shame, I just don't have any tears left.But it is very nice to just sit here with you''

I hugged her gently and just sat there in silence for a moment.

''She will always be in my heart...You know Emilie you don't need to be strong because of me.I know how much you love her as well and how all of this affect on you.''

I sighed deeply and said.

''And theres all this pressure cause everyones hovering around me waiting for me to say some thing or cry some more ...Which I could not handle any more''

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Wed Jul 04, 2012 9:02 pm

Emilie hug her back.

It's nice to be with you too ... I couldn't anymore handle all this, the ceremony, all this people ... I feel better in being just you and me.

She remain silent to, savouring it after all these words, all theses tears, then as she talk again, she feel moved as she tell that she hadn't to be strong for her and she shake her head.

Yes, I have to be, I have yet lost Margaret, I never want to see you like she was ... and I think that it's what she would want me for do ... and I have a child, I must remain strong for her, I hadn't the right to don't be strong ...

She listen to her with attention and compassion.

I understand, you have cry so much since her death, you hadn't tears for cry anymore and it's normal, it's even a good thing, because it's show that you start to feel better and you hadn't to handle all this anymore, no matter what people can think.

She take a deep inspiration, look deep in her eyes.

I think that Margaret, her, would surely tell you to live, be happy, marry and have children, she would never want you unhappy and I tell you the same.

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Wed Jul 04, 2012 10:07 pm

I looked at her gently,squeezing her hand.

''I know that you must be strong for your daughter,but now when you are with me you don't have to...I will not be like her in time i will be better,so don't fear for me''

I nodded slightly,looking at her.

''I feel little better now,but I still need the time to accept everything....You know she was always strong and I had always admire her for that.She would not like for any of us to be unhappy,and she would like that we all continue with our lives but I still can I miss her so much.''

I said sadly and sighed deeply.

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Thu Jul 05, 2012 8:06 pm

Emilie squeeze her hand back, looking at her with a serious air on her face, still feeling the need to remain strong and she answer her honestly, feeling confused.

I know that ... I just ... hardly succed in expressing such a pain, I fear that it's would submerge me, and, anyway I too hadn't anymore tears still, it's like if all the tears I had in my body have flow last night when I have learn the news and today, especially in Chapel ...

She just have to look at her for see that she is feeling very bad still and her air betray her high level of worring for her, she rub her shoulder gently, she remain silent for a while, then tell her in a tone soft and grave at the same time, choicing carefully her words for don't hurt Mary.

I think that Margaret ... hadn't pass away only because of illness, I that the sentimental and moral pains that she had ... from her unhappy marriage and Charles's constant unfaithfulness ... have aggravate heavely her state ... make her lost thirst for live, the envy to fight for survive ... I even think that it may have provocate her illness.

Feeling deep pain at the idea of her best friend's sufferings of theses last years, she sigh heavely and add.

And I don't want you for get ill because of sadness like she did, because now I know that too heavy moral pains can kill ...

Remaning silent after her words, she regret her words, fearing that their meaning can have hurt Mary who is yet so week and that she would rather need reassuring and chearing words.

I am sorry, I shouldn't have tell it, especially no in such a moment ... I should have hold my tongue ... You just need to recover of the pains of this terrible lost, like myself, after you will be better and you will surely find happiness with your husband to be.

She nodd, the air compassionate, touched by Mary's words.

I understant it very well, I feel the same like you, I just can't prevent from missing her very much too and such a death is injust and inacceptable and will always be so, because it isn't normal way of life, nobody should death at the age she had. I did admire her very much too for that and for sure, she wouldn't want to see us unhappy ... but she wasn't that much strong after all ...

She feel her heart aching again as she think to that, but do her best for don't let it appear on her face and prefer to think to Margaret alive and happy, as she was, feeling pains appease and her heart warmining up and she add

What I did love and admire the most in her was that she did hide behind strong appearances and hot temper, the most kind of hearts, she would have do anything for people that she did love ... she was opposite to all these people who hide a cold and dark heart behind the sweetest appearences and behaviour ... but I think that there isn't many people who has been able to see the treasures that she had in her heart.

She look in Mary's eyes and add in a soft tone.

You know, even if your personality is different of hers, your heart are exactly the same.

Then she recall of the lunch that she have project to take with her.

Tell me, did you eat at all since last night ? with all what happened.

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:41 am

I nodded slightly, although even that tiny movement sent a bolt of pain down my body.

''I understand...I just want to you to know that you do not need to be strong for me''

I listened her carefully looking at her surprised.

''Maybe but...She choose that kind of life for herself.I don't blame him,this is not his fault....and if i want to blame and be angry at someone that I would choose me...I knew how sick she was and I didn't do anything''

I squeeze her hand back and shook my head softly.

''Oh Emilie I will not get ill...Yes I am sad but still I have good reason to live...Emilie you know that you can tell me anything,and maybe I will find my happiness with my future husband and maybe I will not.Who knows?''

I nodded weakly and said.

''She was very young and full of life....it is not fair that she ended like this and I want so bed to scream at God for taking her away....Yes she had the big heart for people she loved,but she had a bed temper as well.She never let anyone to see her good side,she had always hide below her bad temper... ''

I shook my head softly.

''I didn't eat anything...I don't have appetite ''

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Fri Jul 06, 2012 6:47 pm

Emilie frown, worried, as she notice the pain in Mary's body, hoping that it's a reaction to the lost of her sister and not a sign of illness, don't wanting to make her feel even worse, she prefer to don't ask.

Mary, are you getting ill ?

Surprised and even shocked by Mary's words, Emilie open her eyes wider and answer her softly.

Mary, how can you be so harsh with yourself ? you tell that you have done nothing for her ? But you have go to see her everyday, you did spend hours with her in her rooms for support her, with a extraordinary devotion, since the moment where you are learn about her illness, and I know how much you have pray for her, I don't see what you could have for her that you hadn't do, you are the only one to have do it, I know that you are even the one who have.

Feeling guilty as she recall that she have leave court for Eastnor for meet her mother there and was taken in so many things while she knowed about her best friend's state and she add.

If someone between the two of us should feel angry with herself, it's me, because I have leave court while I knowed about her illness and the gravity of her state ... I think that I just don't wanted to admit it, refused even the idea that she could really pass away, it did just seem impossible to me, I did remain in the hope that her state even if serious was stable and she wouldn't get worse and that with time, she would recover ...

She take a deep breath for calm the pain that she feel in recalling of all this, then she continue, for convince Mary that she hadn't any reason to be angry with herself about Margaret.

And for the illness that have take her from us itself, trust me, nobody could have rescue her, aside God and herself, if she hadn't lost her hopes of future and thirst for life, I am sure of it my dear and I can't bear to see you putting injustly such a weight upon your shoulders while you has been the person that have the most support her while her illness until the end.

She sigh.

It's true, she had choice it and the most terrible is that I have feel since the begining that she was doing a big mistake, but I hadn't been able to do anything for prevent it, when I have see their liaision begining while I did accompagny her in Portugal, , I did know about Charles's love for lady Saville and that he would never love Margaret, that this hollow passion would fastly fade ... I have warn many times, but she didn't listen at all ... .

She take a deep inspiration.

Charles was her husband and did he even have notice that she was ill ?, anyway, as far as i know, he have do nothing for her while her illness, did he ? ... but anyway, we can't change the past and now, she don't feel any pains of any kind anymore and she is reunited with your brother, parents and ancestors , it's the only thing that consolate me, to know that she is in better place.

Feeling reassured by her words, she squeeze her hand back.

I know, my dear, you have all the life before you and I am sure that you will find happiness with this marriage with the duke, at last I wish it with all my heart ... it's just that I love you so much that I can't prevent from being worried for you in seeing you like that. Of course, I know that I can tell you anything, don't worry about it, my dear.

She listen to her with a understanding look, slight surprised in hearing her expressing her anger against God for have take Margaret, but don't let it appear and nodd.

Yes she didn't deserved it at all, how to accept that someone who was life itself is death ? it's impossible, we just have to live with it. And you are right about it, but I must say that she have open her big heart to me since the begining and had never been bad tempered with me, I felt very privilegied by it, because I was conscious that she rather acted at the contrary of with me with most of other people.

As she look at her pale face, she isn't surprised by her answer and tell her, rubbing her shoulder softly.

I understand, you don't think to it in such a momen and I am not surprised about it, but I am sure that it would make you a lot of good to eat something, so you would recover your strenghts and you need it especially in this moment. So I propose to try to take a little lunch and I wouldn't be surprised if appetite come back while eating. What do you think about it ?

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Sat Jul 07, 2012 3:48 pm

I shook my head slowly.

''I am not getting ill...I am just tired,I didn't sleep at all''

I sighed deeply and said.

''Oh Emilie don't be so shocked,who else I would blame....I can not yell at her for not telling me how serious her sickness was.I can not yell at God because I am sure that he wouldn't listen to me at all...You should not blame yourself for leaving,you had a very good reason for it....And anyway you didn't know how sick she was and she told to everyone that she felt better.Who knew that this would happened''

I nodded weakly,looking at her.

''Yes she choose this life for her...She knew him but she anyway wanted to marry him.I don't know maybe he did...I can not say but i don't want to blame him,my brother is already doing that...Yes we can not change past even if we want to and of course she is now in better place''

I smiled a little.

''He is very kind to me since this happened and I am very grateful to him for that...I love you as well and I know that you are worried about me but I will be fine...You are right it would be good for me to eat something,and I could try and see if I can so lunch sounds perfect''

I said nodding softly.

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Sat Jul 07, 2012 5:18 pm

Emilie get reassured about her friend's state as she can see how tired she is indeed.

Yes, I can see it, I wish that after having some food and a good night of sleep, you will be better.

Emilie is surprised by Mary's words about God, she understand this reaction, but she had always imagine her as being like her sister, her sister-in-law the queen and her niece Mary, a strict christian very pious and even zealot, she can't prevent from feeling reassured to see that she is more moderate than she did guess, but also worried because she imagine that she have to be in great trouble for doubt that much.
She sigh heavely as Mary evocate Margaret hiding the reality of state and nodd.

Me, I know who most would deserve to be blamed ... and it certainly isn't you, but of course it wouldn't help to blame anyone and anyway we can't change past. And it's right, she have hide to everyone the gravity of her state, was she conscious of it herself ? I don't know, but surely she don't wanted to make us worried ... And me, yes I had a very good reason and I has had awonderful time with my mother after this so so long separation, but if I hadn't leave, I could has been there for her last moments and for support you too afterward.

She reflect about answering about God, but it's delicate matter that she fear to aboard, especially since her words could betray her reformist lutherian ideas that can be dangerous and must keep secrets and because she don't want to risk to do add even more trouble in Mary's mind and soul, she end by answer carefully.

Maybe God hadn't rescue her because she didn't wanted to be rescued and preferred to be with Him in heaven ... I think that God hadn't as much hold on our lifes as we can imagine, if he did, there wouldn't be any crimes committe, against innocent people, nobody would death before the automn of life and life on earth would be like Heaven ... but everyone know how life is, because of humans's fault.

She then take a deep inspiration, thougthful after this reflexion, then she nodd.

I think that if it happened, it's because of her marriage with this old lustful and disgusting kind of portugal, she seemed to be lost because of it maybe she wouldn't have do it in normal time ... it have waste her life.
For me, your brother have all the rights to be angry with him and I wouldn't be surprised if he forget her totally and remarry very soon, personally, I trust that he have never really love her.
And her, I don't know if she really loved him, but I know that she was melancolical to can't hope anything else for her future that this failed marriage in which she was taken.
Thinking to that, It consolate me even more to know that now, she is in a better place

Emilie smile slighty as she hear the good news about her relationship with her husband to be, she take softly her hand.

I am very glad to hear it, it show that he like you and care of you and it make me think that he will be a good husband for you, I hope so and I really think so, from all what I know about you and him since your marriage arrangement and I am sure that your brother have arrange this marriage for your good sake, with better intentions of the world.

Her smile get wider as Mary agree about the lunch and this way show her for the first time since she have see her today, the envy to come back to life and she her softly, putting a hint of enthousiasm in her voice for try to chear up Mary.

Great ! I am going to ask to my maids to prepare and serve it to us fastly, you will see, it will heavely help you to recover your strenghts and I do wish that you will be fine indeed.

She get up and call her maids who join them and she give her instructions to them, they disappear in the other rooms of her appartments and come back in the room with her fine silver tableware, a bottle of hypocras, a pitcher of fresh water, a basket of bread and they set the table for two.

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Sun Jul 08, 2012 1:02 am

I looked at her and said very softly.

''You should not blame anyone....No one should be blamed for what happened to her even not Charles.She knew exactly how sick she was,but she didn't want anyone to know...Emilie you are here now that is only thing that meters and I wasn't alone Royce was with me all time...Oh of course she wanted to live but like they taught as everyone have his time to die and God decided that her time came even if she was so young and full of life.''

I shook my head slowly.

''It have nothing with king of Portugal....I was married to your father and he was much older than me...She loved Charles that is way she choose to marry him and I do believe that deep inside him he loved her as well...Oh my brother loved her very much,she was her favorite sister after all,but he will forgive him soon''

I squeeze her hand,nodding a little.

''Yes I think that my brother choose well this time...He is really a good man and he was there when I needed him the most... I talked with my brother and he thinks that we should marry after mourning period ended''

I smiled a little to her.

''Thank you Emilie for everything you are doing for me''

I said gratefully as maids were preparing the table for us to eat.

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Sun Jul 08, 2012 3:59 pm

Emilie remain spectical about Mary's words about Charles and Margaret and about the fact she is death because it's what God wanted, but she don't prefer to don't want to start a debate about it, especiallly since the circomstances and Mary's degree of sadness and tiredness, so she content on smiling sligty and answering.

Indeed, I am glad to know that Royce has been here for support you while this terrible moment.

As Mary answer her about Portugal and about Charles and Margaret, she look at her with a obviously spectical, hesitate, then answer her in choicing carefully her words.

Mary, I was with her in Portugal, she was disapired and she may have take decisions that she wouldn't had take in her normal state ... I have always think that this hasted and secret marriage was made on weak basements ... the failure of their marriage certainly have affect her joie de vivre ... but anyway, now all this is ended and I am sure that she now is happy in Heavean

Recalling of Mary's comparaison with her marriage to her father, she answer her, feeling disgusted as she recall of theking of portugal.

I have also see this old king and trust me aside for the tittle and stage of life, he hadn't commun points with my father, he was really horrible, pervert, stupid, senile and ugly at a point that you can't imagine !

She add, with all the proudness and admiration that she feel for the great man that her father was in her eyes

While my dear father, even as old, was still a elegant, alluring, charistmatique, intelligent and cultived man ... of course he was far too old than you, but still he wasn't comparable with this horrific king of portugal.

She smile as Mary talk happily about Royce, feeling reassured about her friend's future with that man who seem to be so kind to her, she squeeze her hand back softly and tell her in smiling softly.

I am delighted to hear this, it's a good news, you see, I had a good intuition in telling you that he may be a good match for you, seen his age, about the same like yours and his good temper. And seen the kindness and care that he show to you, I feel that he will be a good husband for you, you will see.

She smile softly.

It's normal, you deserve it because you are a really good woman and my friend, I love you and I am glad to can help you ... and in more, now I realize it, you are my stepmother, even if it can sound funny seen our little difference of age it's true !

She turn to look at her maids coming back with dishs of fine food and one of them announce that the lunch is ready, she thank her, turn to Mary and tell her, forcing a enthousiast tone for to cheer up her.

So we can join the table now, if you are ready ?

She offer her arm to her for help her to get up from the sofa.

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Sun Jul 08, 2012 9:37 pm

I looked around and sighed.

''I don't know maybe she did marry him because of everything that happened in Portugal,but still I think she loved him.I can not understand how my brother could do that to her...Yes your father was very good looking man for his age and very kind man.

I smiled softly.

''it is very soon to tell but we do get along very well...I am sure that we will respect each other and maybe in time learn to love each other as well''

I looked at her softly,thinking how lucky I was to have her as my friend.

''I am very lucky to have you as my friend...Oh yes I am your stepmother! It is funny yes,but I am glad to be a stepmother to such kind and wonderful lady''

I took her offering arm,nodding.Then we come to the table where maid prepared lunch for us and sat down.

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Wed Jul 11, 2012 1:35 am

A letter arrives for Emilie, from her cousin, Madeline De Fontanay:

My dearest Cousin,
I pray you are feeling well in your time since the funeral for the Princess Margaret, as I know how close you two were. I, too, was a guest at the funeral, and though I did see you standing beside the lady Nan Saville, I did not wish to interrupt your mourning.
Dearest cousin, I write this day to you, to ask permission to stay some time at the Chateu at Fontanay. I shall be very quickly on my way to and from the French Court, and I was rather hoping to have some feminine family at which to speak to. You can expect me in a matter of days, perhaps a fortnight, yet I shall not stay long, for I must return to England immediately after my business at the French Court.
Sincerely,
Madeline, Comtesse de Fontanay

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Wed Jul 11, 2012 7:57 pm

Emilie shrugg and answer her soberly.

Maybe, she did indeed, but I think that love have come later and that they was too differents for get well together ... and about your brother ... I would never dare to criticate his decisions, I would only tell that this decision was motivated the gain of a alliance between England and Portugal and also a matter of money.

She smile softly in thinking to her father.

I am glad that in spite of the fact that you probably wasn't overjoyed to marry him seen the high difference of age that you had with him, you has been able to see the worth of the extraordinary man that he was and so you have keep a good image of him.

Emilie giggle softly as she can feel in Mary's words that she yet feel something for this man that we will marry and is quite happy about this future marriage.

I can feel it from what you have tell to me, indeed, you know, getting along well and respect each others is the basement of any good marriage, so it's yet a very good thing that you yet have it and the rest will surely come with time, as you will get to know each others better.

Emilie smile after Mary's words, feeling happy to hear that she love her that much and herself feeling the same about her.

I feel very lucky to be your friends too, you are so very good hearted person, like you sister was and is still surely where she is now and you do have a so soft nature. I am glad to have such a good lady for stepmother, to have a family link with you and I regret to hadn't get to know you yet at this period, but since I am illegitime, he couldn't have introduce me to you.

She chuckle.

I must tell that I love you rather like a sister, as I did and still go for Margaret, rather than like a stepmother, seen our little difference of age !

Then they join the table, sat by Mary's side, Emilie drink some apple juice, she interrupt as a servent enter with a letter for her from her cousin, he give it to her and she read it fastly, smile as she think to her cousin and to Fontanay castle, her childhood home that she hadn't see again since when she have leave for England, thinking that she must talk about it with her mother.
She put the letter aside, turn again to Mary and tell her.

Excuse me for this interruption, it's a letter from my cousin ... but I am with you again, my dear.

She start to eat some of her food again, looking attentively at Mary, hoping that she will be able to eat at last a bit for recover some strenghts.

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Thu Jul 12, 2012 3:04 pm

I shrugged, feeling helpless and sad.

''I don't know maybe she saw him as her escape from that awful marriage with king of Portugal...Yes it is always about money and alliance,nothing more''

I smiled softly to her.

''Yes i was not happy to marry him...I was so young but I respected your father.He was good man and King ''

I nodded softly with a small smile on my face.

''Yes we do get along very well and it is good that we even now have respect for each other....You know I told him that I do not believe in God anymore and that hurt him because he is true catholic like I was...and after everything he done for me at least i could try to believe again''

I looked her softly and said.

''it is the shame that I didn't know you back then but I know you now and I am so proud to say that I am your stepmother...Yes I also love you more like my sister...I think that your father would be very happy to know that we love each other very much''

I sat down and took a little sip of my water when servant entered and gave a letter to Emilie.Then I turned to her and shook my head slowly.

''Oh that is fine...Your cousin?I have heard that she is here at court and I wanted to tell you but I completely forgot about it after everything that happened''

I eat a little of my food and realize how much hungry I was.

''You were right i do have appetite...Thank you everything looks so delicious''

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Thu Jul 12, 2012 8:40 pm

Emilie, after Mary's answer about Margaret's marriage, feel regretful for having evocate this dolorous topic and she rub her shoulder softly as for comfort her, then she smile after Mary's words about her father and their marriage.
She listen to her attentively, surprised as she tell her openly that she don't believe in god anymore, reflect about what to answer her, then after her fourth sentence, she giggle softly and answer her.

And I am very happy and proud to can tell that I am your stepdaughter ... and I am sure that my father know about it and that he is very happy of it.

Then after they have join table, and Emilie read her letter, she listen attentively to Mary's answer.

It isn't grave my dear, I do know it now !

She smile happily in hearing Mary's words, reassured about her appetite and that she should get better soon.

I am very glad to hear that, my dear, because it should help you to recover your strenghts and healthness, my dear.

She come back to what they was talking about.

About Royce, I find you very courageous for having tell him about your lost of faith, I understand that he feel that way but I also do understand your doubts, especially in these moments and i will never judge you for that no only because I love you but also because I do think that people should be free of their faith and even to don't trust because in my point of view a faith can't be sincere if it's imposed by another people.
I wish that you will be happy with him and that it will make you trust again because I am sure that your faith would bring you much comfort in such a painful moment, my dear.

Subject: Re: Emilie's bedroom Thu Jul 12, 2012 9:26 pm

I smiled a little and then asked her curiously.

''Tell me more about your cousin? I never heard you mentioning her...are you two close?''

I eat a little my food listening carefully Emilie.

''I don't know courageous of me to telling him that but the words just slip through my mouth and when they came I couldn't stop.i am glad that you understand me and I know that I hurt him even if i didn't wanted too.i think that I still have faith deep inside me i just need something good to happen to remind me...Thank you my dear and I do hope that I will return to faith but not now''

I said and sighed deeply.

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