We have arrived in Ottoman palace a while ago, yet I have a feeling that the things I have seen on our journey here are still haunting me. Someone has been so friendly through our treacherous journey I hope that we shall remain friends. Sometimes I wonder what people think of me for I cannot read minds and sometimes I fail to read the emotions in their faces when they speak to me. As I go to and from sleep I think of Leo I have missed him terribly, probably even more than I care to admit. I haven't known Leo for a long time before we engaged, but sometimes there is no need for long get-to-know sessions, when you feel that it is right. We complete one another in our own inexplicable way which makes our union so unique. Perhaps I shall never find him again or wait for years before someone enlightens me. My head is throbbing and it is becoming warmer by the day. In protest I stopped myself from eating, but the crazed men on this ship force me to eat and drink. I miss my family.
i am alexandra, the russian! slave from rutenia, sold in the ottoman palace. slave, from the banks of dnieper river, thrown in the black sea. slave lost all her beloved, her father, her mother, her brothers. someone, who could die at any moment in the enormous waves, that i asked to go along with my family in heaven, someone, who learned the pain and cruelty of the world at the age of 17, who grew up thousands of years in one day, that i didn't want to live, poor alexandra! i am alexandra, the russian! i didn't say my pain and i didn't share it with anyone. i was screaming my suffering in deep wells. i threw them into the sea. they were thrown into the waves. and in all these, that burned my life, i replied with a laugh. i shed tears only for my family. and when, from a slave, i'll take fire and burn them! what is a harem? i will rule the world!