Gia Francesca Gasparri's Bedroom

Charlotte nodded, though she sensed Gia wished to ask more. Depending on what she would ask, Charlotte wasn't quite ready to reveal certain things just yet.

"I noticed that as well when I spoke with her, she has the drive to do anything she sets her mind to do, but true confidence comes with time. Especially for those with humble beginnings," she said, thinking of her own.

"We shall be here during all that time, I know not how long it will take me to recover, but I am looking forward to it. It's strange how I was so scared before, and now I am completely accepting of it." She paused. "I would love for you to be a part of all the ceremonies, it is my wish," she told Gia.

Gia nodded, smiling, "yes, that is very true," she agreed.

She smiled, "you are a very strong young woman, I am certain it shall take you no time at all." She laughed, "and of course I shall attend whatever ceremonies you wish!"

Charlotte smiled and sighed, feeling optimistic that everything would go well. "Perfect! Thank you my lady. But I hope I'm not keeping you from anything important. I only wanted to visit with you as it might be the last time I can before the baby is born."

Gia gave a wave of her hand, laughing. "Ohh, of course I am never doing anything," she jested, "most of these days I am an old woman and keep to my sewing and prayers," she smiled.

She looked upon Charlotte's stomach, smiling at the memory of being with child, though it ended so badly. "I am only glad you have taken such time to see me," she smiled fondly. She held up and finger, "and perhaps, the next I see you, you shall have a little bundle of happiness in your arms," she looked at Sir Knivert, "the both of you."

Charlotte smiled. "Oh I remember in Venice, when you danced practically the entire night! We both did, and still you were up so early in the morning for Mass. I could barely get out of bed, my feet were so sore from every galliard and volta!" She giggled. "Now I cannot even imagine staying up past ten, even being awake causes me such weariness.."

She rose and curtsied, as best she could. "Indeed, I hope to be a mother within a fortnight, if what the physicians say is true.." She gave Gia a hug. "Pray for me, please?" she whispered.

Gia smiled, nodding, "yes, Venice has always been the place to dance." She laughed, "I fear you shall be all the more weary with a child to look after, as I have a feeling you shall want to keep all your attentions on them and perhaps even feed them yourself," she smiled.

She stood to her feet and returned the hug, "of course, child," she smiled, "you are always in my prayers," she nodded.

She followed the young couple to the door, "and if you are in any fear during your birth, do not hesitate to demand for my presence," she held up a finger, smiling. "Are you planning on being shut in?" she tilted her head, a look of concern on her face. She had always hate being shut in: the dark, quiet rooms with no light and no company, then finally to give birth in the dark with strangers around. She did not much like the idea of the same frightening aspect of birth, being thrust upon Charlotte.

"Yes, I imagine a quite wearying life after the baby is born, and there is still much to plan. I have thought about nursing the child myself, I don't think I could give him or her up to a wet nurse," she said shyly.

"I thank you.." she whispered as they embraced.

She smiled in gratefulness for Gia's offer of being there for her. "I will take that into mind, for you are one of the few that can give me such strength during such a time... I do not think I will be shut in..I dislike being away from people, and the physician has said it really will not make much of a difference if I am shut in or not. But I will take rest until my time is due.. I plan on staying in my rooms, still receiving visitors if they wish to come."

Gia smiled brightly, "yes, you will have much to do," she laughed, imagining soon a laughing baby learning to walk under Charlotte's own hands. She smiled, looking down as she felt tears come to her eyes, "oh, but you will be sooo happy," she beamed, "a little being to call your own who will look like you...and you will watch them grow," she placed a hand on her corseted stomach as though she missed the days of being with child.

She laughed, wiping her eye, "and anyway, your milk will be better as it was made for your child only," she pointed giving a grin. She took a deep breath.

Gia nodded, "yes, that would be best I think," she smiled, "you need your rest for the day to come."

Charlotte smiled as well, still unbelieving she would have a child, an extension of herself, to look after and to care for. She could not imagine any other path meant for her. "I will of course teach my child what you have taught me, so much about life that I would not have known otherwise..." She saw the tears in Gia's eyes and felt them pooling in her own as well.

"Yes, if I were to nurse my child myself I think that would help us to bond better, I will be in every way an excellent mother."

She nodded, feeling very tired all of a sudden. Luckily the baby was quiet, only now and then Charlotte felt a limb dragging across her stomach, a quite strange feeling. "And the physician has said the baby has dropped, it is in position to make its way out," she said with a laugh. "I shall inform you when the little one is ready to make its debut into the world."

Gia laughed, "ohh, I know you shall be their best teacher...and teach them so much more than I ever did," she gave a wave of her hand.

She smiled, her eyes opening wide. "Ohh, my little Lotte," she laughed, "then your child is coming very soon." She put a hand over her mouth, smiling, "then I will wait as expectantly as you do for that time," she laughed.

Gia glided forward and wrapped her arms around Charlotte as best she could. "Goodbye, my child...and good luck, I will see you very soon," she pointed to her, smiling. She nodded for the door, "go and get your rest," she laughed.

She nodded, smiling as they embraced, knowing things would be very different when next they met. With a sad, somewhat scared smile she quietly took her leave.

The nurse helping tend to Charlotte's birth was sent to Lady Gasparri's rooms to inform her she was wanted at Charlotte's bedside. She was assured the young mother was well, but was a bit scared and wanted Gia with her.

Gia entered her room, tiredly, after the delivery of her ward, Charlotte, and Sir Knivert's baby boy, yet as she entered her chamber, she threw the door shut. She placed her palms against the cool wood of the door as she leaned against it, a smile forming on her face at the joy of a baby in the world...

Yet her shoulders began to shudder as a pain came to her stomach. The pain of an empty womb.
Her lips quivered as warm tears crept down her cheek, a childish whimper escaping her lips. She wiped her eyes yet further tears fell, drenching her face as her nose, cheeks and lips grew red, a pulsing pain in her head. Her shoulders shook as she began to tremble, and she slid to the floor, pulling her knees up to her chest as she sobbed, her breath quick with hyperventilation.

It was the same sadness that often swept her after the sudden joy of watching a friend or family member give birth. It had happened when her younger sister, Esmerelda, had given birth to her first children: twins. It had happened after Gia's stomach was large with child, and she attended Rodrigo's sister's childbirth. It happened when she was left alone in a dark room after giving birth to nothing, though her body and appearance had been of pregnancy.
So many births, and so many women, and children. Yet it was never Gia..
Gia's shoulder shook as she held her head in her hands, her throat syrupy and painful as she let her cries grow muffled as not to disturb anyone. She held her shoulders and closed her eyes, rubbing them as Rodrigo used to do when they cried together.
Where her stomach grew with physical and sharp pain, her heart ached for him as she began to hyperventilate again, and she knew the stomach pains would only grow worse. She took a couple of deep breaths as her face went white, and for a moment, she sat with her eyes wide open, their glassiness cooled by a single tear as it escaped her eyes again. She blinked, the pain in her stomach growing stronger, its poisonous strength sweeping through her legs as she curled up against the door, lying on the cold floor, waiting for the pain to end...

After taking much needed rest, Charlotte was able to leave her room and brought Henry with her, one of the nurses in tow. A smile lit up her face and lifted her heart as she brought her son to meet Gia. Gently knocking she heard muffled groans of pain, and fear shot through her. "My lady, it's Lotte.. is something wrong? Please let me in!" She grew frantic with worry. Flagging down a nearby guard she demanded a key for the room and quickly opened the door, finding Gia in a crumpled heap on the floor. "My lady!!" She rushed to her side, handing her son to the nurse. She told the guard, "Fetch a physician at once!" Returning her attention to Gia, she cried quietly, feeling for a pulse and finding hers was very weak.

Gia lifted her head as she heard Charlotte's voice, and though she opened her mouth to answer, no sound came out.

She cleared her throat, "no, no...I am alright, child," she quickly wiped her nose and eyes with her hand while the other pushed firmly against her stomach. She took a deep breath, feeling the pains, and as she attempted to stand to her feet, she fell to her knees, the pain taking them as well.

"Caro Dio," she crossed herself, gritting her teeth to the pain. Her eyes flicked upward when she heard the door open. She felt Charlotte's hand on her neck, and to reassure her she took a deep breath, slowly and painfully leaning herself up against the wall, still clutching her stomach.

Gia gave a faint smile, playing with the rosary around her neck, pursing her lips to the pain in her stomach. She blinked slowly, "I fear, child, I shall perhaps be in bed for some time," she spoke faintly. Her eyes moved upward to the nurse and the baby boy in her arms who already looked bigger. She smiled faintly again.
Her eyes moved to Charlotte, "thank you, for bringing him to see me...will you help me to the bed?" she motioned with her eyes, weakly, as though the rest of her body became paralyzed.

Charlotte was a little more comforted as Gia seemed better, but she did not like her weakened state and immediately recalled the little conversation they'd had on her poor health. She put her arm around Gia as they walked to the bed, glad that Gia still had a strong grip. It saddened her heart to be the strong one at this point, at least physically, and she felt nothing but guilt as she helped Gia into her tester bed. "Of course, you must rest as long as necessary." She tucked her into the bed and motioned to the nurse. "Hannelore, bringe mein Kind hier." She pulled up a chair next to the bed and held her son in her arms. "I know you wanted more of a visit with him, and I am so proud to bring him to you..." she drifted off. "Are you in need of anything? Should you like to see a physician or have something brought to you?" She grasped Gia's hand in one of her own.

Gia clutched at her stomach as Charlotte helped her up, and she felt embarassed, causing such a fuss for everyone. She nearly fell onto the bed, but removed her shoes before lying down. She pulled covers up over her body, finding the pain in her stomach beginning to subside, though her heartrate was quick and noises in the room became loud and somewhat frightening.

She was startled slightly as Charlotte spoke, but she looked over to the woman who held the little baby boy, and she smiled, giving a sigh.

Gia shook her head, "no, no, child." She waved her hand, "I fear this is nothing but old age," she looked up at Charlotte, "I confess that I have dismissed my physicians quite some time ago."
Gia knew that soon, any day now she would rejoin her beloved Rodrigo. She felt there was no more use in taking expensive tonics, when she, as all people, was only doomed to die.

She closed her eyes, feeling warm as she shook her head. She looked at Charlotte, "little Lotte...I am sorry to have left you for so long while you were at court and school...I fear, if I were your birth mother, I was not very good," she laughed faintly. Her eyes moved to the young mother's face, "perhaps that is why I was never blessed enough to keep a child," she sighed slightly.
She smiled faintly, "you know, when I was with Rodrigo my first year and could not have a child...I often wondered if perhaps my life purpose was not to have children, but to help them and watch them grow and help others...but I fear I would have given the world to have had a little boy or girl that looked like me."

She smiled up at Lotte, "but...forgive my vanity, but I see so much of me in you, already."'

She leaned off the pillows to look at the little boy in Charlotte's arms, and she smiled, happy to see that another child she watched grow, was blessed to have a hild of her own. She blinked away a tear, "may I hold him?"

Charlotte was surprised that Gia mentioned that she'd dismissed her own physicians, but she always was a woman of practicality. Old age was not a sickness, just the natural progression of life. Still it made Charlotte's heart heavy, and she held Gia's hand in hers.

At Gia's words, Charlotte felt tears sting at her eyes but quickly brushed them away. "You did nothing of the sort, my lady. Do you know you have been ten times more than the mother who gave me life? In my thoughts it was always you as my true mother. You gave me more knowledge and more love than anyone else in this world, and how can I ever wish that away?"

She smiled sadly at Gia's story, knowing the one thing she had wanted her whole life was a child of her own. "In truth I can't help but feel guilty.. I never did a thing to prepare for my own child, and you always craved being a mother. The world does not spin the way we think it should. If I could have answered your prayers I would have, and without a moment's hesitation."

She smiled, feeling very precious as Gia said such about her. "I think that is the greatest compliment I have ever received, or will ever receive," she whispered. "If I can be even a little like you my lady, then I consider it a great achievement." She hesitated a moment. "The king has called my husband back into service, and he wants me back at court as well, along with our son."

She nodded, and took the baby from the nurse and gently handed him to Gia. "He's the most perfect creature in the universe, I think. My little angel Henry."

Gia smiled weakly, placing a gentle hand on Charlotte's. "I am so happy that you think that of me," she smiled.

She gave a laugh, "oh, child, I think my prayers were answered in their own little way," she smiled. "You have been such a joy to watch grow," she looked at the little boy in Charlotte's arms, "I only hope I have taught you some things that you may remember me by."

Gia knew how she was speaking. It was as though she figured she would die right there and then, yet the pains stopped, as they often did when she took to her bed, yet she knew soon they would only return, forcing her to confinement again.

She nodded, "I imagined such would happen, and that soon you would be back home," she spoke, giving a slight sigh. She smiled up at Charlotte, "it will be good for you two go to your new home with your new baby," she gave a little laugh.

Gia smiled as the little boy was placed in her arms, and she supported his head as she looked down at him where she leaned against the bed. "Ohhh, he's darling," she cooed. She played with his tiny fingers as he began to stir, and she lifted his head to her nose. She had found that though she had never had her own children, whenever she held one they had this lite, baby scent that she found to be adorable. She placed him back down, supporting his head again.
"Ohhh he has your nose, look at that," she lightly poked his nose. She looked up at Charlotte, smiling, "it is a shame you shall be leaving...I feel like I could hold him forever," she laughed. She gently handed the little bundle back to Charlotte, fearing if she held him any longer, she would start to cry.

She blinked, "you three will be fine in England...and I know you will be such a beautiful family, how could you not be?" she laughed. She looked at Charlotte, smiling, "you are going to be an excellent mother I know it...and this little one is in capable hands," she beamed. "Netta has also told me she is going with you, and so I a glad she shall have some friends in England," Gia nodded to herself. She smiled again, giving a wave of her hand, "so go!" she laughed, "go on to your new life, and your baby with all my blessings," she smiled, brushing her finger against the baby boy's.

"I think you have taught me much that I shall always remember. I remember my first lesson was that I should not slide down the banister, and that it was impolite to wipe my nose on my dress sleeve," she said, smiling fondly at the thought. "I do hope I have done you proud, but I hope also that I have remained something of myself, who I was meant to be. I cannot abide by every rule, but I do treat others with kindness, and always see the good side of things. All the life lessons you have taught me, I shall teach to my children."

She looked down a moment as she thought of going home, and realized she did not want to say goodbye to Gia. "I wish things were otherwise, I hate to leave you..." she felt tears sting at her eyes.

As she watched Gia with the baby, she felt an overwhelming joy, and also a pang of sadness though she didn't know why. She suddenly wondered where her own mother was, and if she would take as much pleasure in Charlotte's child as Gia was. She forced the thought from her mind. "He does have my nose, and his father's eyes.." She gently took him into her arms as Gia gave him back to her. "Do not think this is forever, surely we will return, especially during the summertime when London is usually a ghost town that time of year. We shall return, and perhaps even visit Venice, as you so wished." She tried to instill some cheer and hope into Gia, who looked rather sad.

"Yes, I think Mionetta will be a great addition to the court, and she has expressed such interest in helping care for Henry. I assure you I will make sure she is well-received and happy, as you would have her be." She bowed her head, almost unable to keep serious as little Henry lifted his arm to play with a stray curl of her hair. "I thank you...for everything. I cannot ever express the gratitude I feel for you taking me in, for showing me the ways of being a lady and for securing me a position in Queen Eleanor's household. Also, in a roundabout way, you enabled me to start this little family of mine, and I am forever grateful, truly." She smiled as she saw Henry's little fingers gripping Gia's hand. "I shall go, but not as happily as I would, leaving you. Though I start a new life I shall never exclude you from it."

Gia threw her head back, giving a laugh. "Ohh, I remember you used to be some wild thing," she laughed, clapping her hands together. She looked at Charlotte, thoughtfully, "I think sometimes that child is still in you," she smiled, "I can see her in those eyes." She nodded, "And I am certain you will see it in this little bundle, too," she played with Henry's tiny finger.

She shook her head, "child, this moment was long in the making...you were always going to have to leave," she smiled.

Gia smiled, "I would like that so very much." she nodded, "I think your little boy would like the summer festivals of Venice."

Gia laughed, smiling, though her heart raced. "Little Lotte, even if you did not come from my womb, you are my proudest achievement, and the great love of my life," she smiled. She blinked, as her eyes stung. "I wish you could have met Rodrigo...he would have loved you too," she took a deep, shaky breath.

She smiled, "I pray you do not," she nodded. Her smile faded, abruptly. "Yet, I fear you may have to."

She shook her head, forcing the smile as she gave a wave. "Now go, go on to your new and beautiful life...you and your family shall always be in my prayers and have my blessings." She looked at little Henry, "I know he is too little to remember my face...but I will remember his," she smiled down at him, giving a little wave.

She grinned at the remembrance of her wild youth, and all the times she'd gotten into trouble with not only Gia but the servants who soon grew tired of her antics. "I think I am too tall - and too mature - to slide down the stairwell banister now," she laughed. "I will always have this lightheartedness you see in me, but I will be a lady as well, doing my best to help others and to be good, and to teach my son to be a good man."

She nodded. "We shall plan to visit, when the weather is warm and the cool breeze comes off the canals... you know, I used to speak to my lord Rodrigo in my prayers when I was young, I used to tell him that he should not worry too much, that I would make sure you were taken care of, and happy." She blinked tears away at hearing Gia's sentiment. Words were too trite for everything she felt at that moment.

"I will ensure that Henry knows of you, and that you will be as a grandmother to him. I hope to give him all the love and courage you gave me all these years." She bowed her head and then raised it, smiling at Gia to show that everything would be all right.

"Io penso sempre a te, e quando lo faccio io non sarò mai triste perché il mio cuore sarà pieno." Another smile, and she took her son and walked towards the door, taking another look at Gia before leaving, and gently closing it behind her.