The Golden Harrow Tavern

I clasped my hands around his as I looked back into his beautiful brown eyes. Eye's that stilled the very anger in me leaving only a calm within me. It was never my intention to make our meeting to revolve all around me as I truly cared for James more than was actually allowed. He is not here; it's just you and I. Letting my grip on his hands cease I moved around to where he stood inside all my morals told me it was wrong. I needed him. For many night's I had dreamed of being picked up off the ground and into his loving arms. Never before had I grown to become self reliant on a man; but James was more than just a man he was my equal nobody could change that ever. We have a love for each other try to deny it; but I know that you have felt it as well. I'm sorry for all this since when did our friendship get so complicated.

James shuffled down his pew so that she may sit beside him, taking a large gulp of ale as he did. It was a welcomed changed from the new sparkling wine in court, imported from Carcassonne. James felt almost as if he was an animal, being broken in when he spent great lengths of time in the palace. He started to wear finer doublets above his shirts, he would be entertained by the court's artists and not the sport of a good fight - he wouldn't even speak Gaelic as much. When he was with Isabel, he knew that he could be entirely himself. He'd known her type before and she would have known his...there was no strangeness between them.

"Had we met before...or even some other time," he mumbled and ran his hand through his hair again, "Well...at least for me, things may have been different."

Not exactly the words lady wished to expect after admitting part of what I felt. What really made my temper boil was he had the audacity to act how he did over my marriage. Yet I fully supported his marriage to a woman who in my honest opinion did not deserve him. Why did I bother to open up and be honest with this man. If he really wanted to protect me why didn't he just throw me over his shoulder and take me back to that damn palace of his. I am disappointed in how you reacted to my news James. I have an early morning of travel ahead of me so I need to pack my things.

James remained quiet for a moment. The silence between them, like the separation he had endured from her. Yet, he suffered still to be near her. He couldn’t quite understand why he felt the way he did for her. It was a shameful feeling, one he hoped to subdue and quench…yet he had never once before kept his desires so tightly harnessed. His love for Mary was profound - they had a child together and she had given him a home that he had never quite had before. The feelings he had for Isabel were also deep - mingled somewhere between filial duty and a strange desire to bring her to him. He knew that if he were not married, he would have sought to make her his long ago.

“You’re not going,” he finally said. His voice dark and commanding, concealing what he truly felt, “You will remain here. I am King and you married without my permission. You shall come back to the palace and I will meet your husband when he comes to collect you.”

He didn’t mean the words he spoke, he felt uncomfortable even saying them. He didn’t care if a boy married his sweetheart in some quiet ceremony, he didn’t think to assert his will so strongly over his people. Nor did he particularly want Isabel to be brushing shoulders with Mary but he wanted her safe and he did not want her with a family that he knew could not protect her. Perhaps she would hate him for it, but it was the only way he knew he could keep her safe.

I was left speechless how dare he try and command about my whereabouts! Now was not the time to start acting like a king around me. I looked to the doors; then back at him I could escape and run as fast as the night wind took me. Are you trying to make me hate you as it's working James. Not only that; but you are driving me more into the arms of a man you now despise. Now he was not my friend our friendship had now shattered into pieces completely broken. I didn't recognize the man I stood next to. I have loved you secretly watched you build a life with Mary. You have access to my mind and what I feel now you think you have the right to control me! I won't go with you we are no longer friends you are my enemy.

James stood up, finishing off the ale. Her reaction was hardly a surprise. It occurred to him to wonder if it was the drink which had given him a certain clarity or perhaps it was almost a certain desperation. It was pathetic, he thought, that they had become this way. He had never before quarrelled with anyone the way he did with Isabel. To be sure, he’d never had such confused feelings about anyone in his life.

“Hate me then,” he said simply with a shrug and adjusted his belt, heavy with his sword and musket, “But I will not let you be held among people who would and have done you harm.”

It would be alright - eventually, he hoped - ever the optimist. He hated the discord between them, that she claimed to hate him although he barely believed her. If he could just get her into the palace, then things would perhaps not be so fraught.

As he stood I watched him like a hawk circling him as though he was my prey. Without a moment's hesitation; I made for the doors the cool air hitting my chest hard. Not looking back; I kept on running until I found a bush to hide in waiting for him to leave so that I could return and collect my items. I was as silent as a mouse rubbing my arms to melt the cold that had surrounded me.

James theatrically groaned as she darted from the tavern, sure that she would still hear him but he couldn’t help but smile. He bit his lip to contain his laughter and paused for a moment. Quietly he inspected the pitcher and swallowed the final dregs of warm ale. With a sigh he brushed his hair off his forehead and - sure she was out of ear shot - allowed himself to chuckle.

He started out of the tavern and moved forward. He took in everything about him. The dirt path out of the tavern had been obviously disturbed - a cloud of dust billowed about his boots. The main path would have led her straight to the palace so he moved closer to the fields and woods in the distance, “I did not think I would be playing hide and seek until my son was a little older…” he called out playfully.

You're being unreasonable James can't you see that. The weather was far too cold to spend any more time out here a hot bath would be needed after this. You do realize that we now have no friendship between us. Would've he had reacted this way; no matter who I married? James had made it clear that he only wanted friendship and that was that. Why try and stop me from finding happiness. Did he want me to always be after him flirting and making him feel uncomfortable whenever I came on a bit too strong was that what he wanted.

James followed her voice and finally found her hidden behind a shrub, his cheeks and nose blushing a florid pink from the cold. He sighed tiredly and perched down beside her, “Come back to the palace,” he offered gently, “I won’t keep you prisoner, just hope you stay for a little while. Meet Jamie...”

He removed his cloak from over his shoulders and gathered it around her's, "If you remember I spent a great while trying to convince you to enter my wife's household...the offer is still there. If you still do not want to accept then I ask only that you come back for now...before you go off with your highlander."

I did not trust him I was looking forward to a cheerful reunion; but like so many times we had fallen out. Only this time it was the final straw for me. No; I can't; I am a wife now my husband comes before you and I think you have other motives probably to try and catch him and put him to the gallows. I returned his cloak which felt like a warm hug when it was wrapped around me. Sure the offer was tempting to accept had we been on better terms then I gladly would've accepted graciously.

James sighed and slumped into the ground, barely minding the cold. It was a strange situation to be in with her. She was right. They were both married now - both claiming to love their spouses…yet the thought of that burn on her wrist, her raw and pink flesh that she had showed him in the tavern all those months ago inflamed his protective feelings for her, “Don’t make yourself freeze out of pride,” he said in exasperation and nudged the cloak back over to her.

“Isabel, I’ll admit it - yet I think you already know,” he sighed and held his head in his hands - muffling his deep voice slightly, “There is - of course - something between us, something that I worry if I dare pursue will result in both our lives unravelling and although I am still tempted - God knows how much I am - I cannot risk it. I’m not just a husband now, I am a father.”

James looked up to her, dark eyes full of genuine warmth of affection. Perhaps he had only really joked with Isabel, enjoyed their harmless flirtations - but he had never yet been quite so honest with her, never let all his guards completely down, "Damn it, I wish I had taken the opportunity in that little house all those months ago. Much has changed in that time. I am much bound and so are you. Christ...I love Mary - completely and I would not do without her...yet here you are and I still want to...I want..."

I took the cloak wrapping it back around me as I sat opposite him. Now I felt bad I wore him down completely that was not my intention I didn't want to cause him any pain or discomfort in talking with me. I was resilient to the cold; I concentrated on what he was saying his breath coming out mist when he spoke. The only solution is for me to stay away... again. I won't write nor come near you I'll let you be happy with Mary and your son. Know that when I first came to you this was never my plan. I never sought you out because you are a king like others would have. My interests were not even interested in you until I got to know you as a person. I was tired of this game that always seemed to play with one another not intentionally it just occurred. We were both a danger to each others happiness. I had better go a lot of traveling is ahead of me we are going back to his ancestral home. And I have wife duties to see to. Take care my friend. I kissed his forehead pressing my lips rather hard against him. For one last time I breathed in his scent one that always made me feel intoxicated and at home with him. He would not miss or need me as I would him despite his being honest; this was a one sided situation. One that he could do without.

James sighed, running his hand over his hair and finally resting his chin dejectedly in the palm of his hand. He watch her wrap herself in his cloak and he wondered how things had become so messy, so jagged and strange. When she had first come to him he found her peculiar and amusing, a woman who was out of place in court. Indeed, when he met her all those months ago, court was only just filling up with women. Up until Mary’s arrival, the palace was more like a garrison than a royal court. However since she had arrived everything had softened and James imagined the feminine delicacies she had introduced would mean that court might compete with other’s in Europe for design and elegance. In the court as it stood, he and Isabel stood out but she would have fit quite well before Mary…perhaps not just fit into the court but also by his side.

“Where does he come from?” James asked and caught her gaze, adding playfully - trying maintain some kind of familiarity between them, “So I’ll know where to come to when you wish to come back.”

I am tired and exhausted by this James! Why do we argue every time we see each other. I wasn't dumb people knew of our friendship behind safe walls and closed doors; they had probably questioned the over familiar mark I stepped with the king. Our friendship had stirred a string of other ladies to him in hopes of either receiving the same affections or to get in his pants. Wasn't I just the same except I did not wish to get into his pants I only wanted him no other man; no matter what I told him it was James and only him. I shall be in the highlands If you ever need to see me. I will not seek you out to come to me my king. Calling him by his right and official title left a burnt out after tasting one my tongue was not too familiar with

James rolled his eyes and stood up, stretching casually as he did. He never did have the sport for an argument. There was never any resolution to an argument, it would always be frayed and leave a relationship weakened. An exercise in physical combat would always have a definite winner and a definite end…what’s more it was considerably more enjoyable for James.

Part of him believed it was his own fault, for allowing things to progress in the way they had. Somewhere, they had taken the wrong route and they now tread a path with a dead end. The only resolution was to turn back, and in doing so forget all that they had shared and had been between them, “Alright,” he mumbled tiredly with a sigh and rubbed his hand against his forehead, “I suppose all I ought to say then is goodbye.”

As quickly as James had said his goodbye; I quickly fled from him the entire situation. With every step my feet took I could feel all that was said between us float under the dark sky. Forever leaving my memories and a life that might've been behind. No friendship existed between us anymore; just hurt piercing my skin. The tears I cried were the salt in the wounds.

Life in the tavern has been always the same just somewhat better for me. Around my thigh I kept a very special keepsake close to me given by a man who had grown significantly special to me. He would drop by soon just liked he always had in recent months we would always touch each other but it never went further. He was married though his wife estranged. The tavern was dimly lit a bottle of his favourite whiskey was waiting for him on the table only enough light for us to see each other . I quickly went and got changed letting my natural curls fall down the curves of my breasts as always I chose something figure revealing just for him. We had remained the greatest of friends we fit perfectly together understood how each other worked and what we needed from one another.

The habit had developed over the summer; James would spend the early afternoon in the garrison, training with his brothers in arms in the garrison and after having his evening meal with them, they would make over to the tavern in a small cluster. By the time they arrived, James had always been mercilessly teased by his kin - about how close he had become to Isabel, about how envious they were of her attentions and how James was happier for being around her. And it was true, the walk was barely a mile but it was long enough for the anticipation to grow.

That night was no different, even with black ice on the road and the rain sprinkling upon the earth, James sprinted energetically to see Isabel - his heavy cloak flying about his broad shoulders. Caught by the ice at the inn’s entrance, he slid against the door and tumbled into the tavern with a boyish enthusiasm. His dark eyes conversely intense and mature, scanning the room for Isabel. Then he saw her and made over to her with a bright grin, “You look well,” he said mischievously as he approached her, playfully tossing a tendril of dark hair over her shoulder, “You’ll catch a chill.”

I grinned as I heard his sweet bellowing voice causing all the hairs on my neck to stand up goosebumps covering my arms. My nose nudged his as our foreheads touched like they had never been parted before. Taking his hand; I led him over to the table which I had set up. The whole tavern had been rearranged on purpose the open shutters slightly shielding the view inside and when things got steamy the windows were Impossible to see out of. I looked back at him a few times my fingers grasping tightly onto his own fingers. "I never catch a chill in your company now sit." I kicked out the chair with my leg revealing my thigh and his token proudly tied around it.

He did as she told him and reclined into one of the chairs, looking up at her with a lopsided smile - his gaze drifting to the material around her thigh, taut and pale. He remembered how he had torn the fabric with his dagger and given it to her months ago. He didn't imagine the fabric when he thought of her but after seeing it there, he knew he would not soon forget. He allowed himself to wonder for just one moment where else she placed it.

He shifted in his seat and brushed his hand over his beard - half concealing his grin, “It suits you well,” he said mischievously, “How has your day been...have you been pining for this evening?” he joked.

I perched like a bird on his knee my legs on either side of his trapping him slightly much to my pleasure. I undid the tie at the top of the dress; letting it fall down over my shoulders; revealing the top curves of my bosom. You could see the nipples through the dress demanding to have his attention more than the rest of my body. I joined my fingers with his soft whispers of groans filled the room as I could feel his eyes burning through my skin. I shook with lust the white cotton clung to my womanhood with my two fingers I pulled it back. "Just watch me James..

During the months before that evening, James and Isabel had been closer - perhaps more than was proper but never enough so that a scandal would be provoked and never as much as they were in that moment. They had always stopped before things tumbled too far or would be interrupted - especially if they were meeting in the tavern. That evening, with frost on the ground and the sky threatening rain there was no chance they could be disturbed…if anything was going to happen, that was the opportunity - the chance to take a step into oblivion.

For some reason, James couldn’t. He looked, of course, he was tempted, greatly tempted; but all of a sudden the necklace around his neck was heavy and pressed against his chest. He let out a sigh, a deep and warm sound and tipped his head against hers - his arms resting on the chair, he didn’t trust himself to hold her, “Isabel,” he complained darkly and nudged his nose against her’s - both affectionately and cautionary, “It’s too much,” he forced himself to say.

I pulled away from him cautiously watching where I put my hands. On his face you could make out the hidden repulsive he suddenly felt at this moment. I couldn't really see the boundaries of our friendship anymore; it wasn't a line so I never knew exactly when it had been crossed or not. Was our so called 'friendship' only when James had wanted it to be convenient for him. "Your mind is becoming harder to read." Tying up my dress which was probably more suited for summer I grabbed my cowl and fleece wrapping it around me. So that all parts of my upper body were covered.

“You know my mind, “ he replied softly and ran his hand through his dark hair, “So you know why this is difficult, Isabel.”

There were times, many times, that Jamie was tempted by Isabel - how could he not be? In fact, half his friends had commented about Isabel and how - if it were not for James - they would have pursued her; how - after the dissolution of her marriage - they hoped to go after her. She was a beautiful woman and one of the few who truly excited James. He was a man, with simple appetites, but his relationship with Mary and Isabel was not simplistic. Each was layered, complicated and each one had their own strings pulling at him.

“You are more free now than I am,” he reasoned but felt truly guilty. His fidelity had faltered and he hated himself for leading her on and dishonouring his wife. If only he did not feel, did not have passions, “Curse me, Isabel, it’s the least I deserve. Christ knows I want you and especially when you wear dresses like that…but Mary’s my wife, we’re bound and you deserve a lad who can love you wholeheartedly and not just when his wife is away.”