Wolsey´s study

He did not move and gave no impression he even listened at her, just kept staring outside.

´I put you into her services with a reason, lady Craven. And now I hear you want to abandon her and offer your services to the Lady Boleyn.'

Suddenly he turned around to look into her face and asked her.

' Is that what you really want?'

I bow my head and reply,"It was not my choice. Your Emimence knows that Her Majesty's household has been diminished and my brother gave me a new position because of this."

I then look up to him and reply strongly,"Despite my new position I will still serve Her Majesty as her humble servant...regardless of current...infatuations."

He nodded at her first words but when she continued he gasped and came closer.
'Lady Craven! You can't serve two opposite masters! You play with fire, Milady!'

He approached her and looked into her fierce eyes.
'How will you manage that? The Lady Anne will see right through you.... and you will suffer the consequences before you know it!'

"I intend to serve the Lady Anne Boleyn and do as she bids me but nothing more. Her Majesty is still Queen and thus I obligated to serve her as long as I am at court, Your Eminence."

I know Anne Boleyn will not appreciate my loyalty to the Queen but none the less I cannot help my loyalties...I am my fathers daughter,"I see no harm in serving my new mistress and continuing correspondence with Her Majesty."

He frowned and slowly shook his head.
'Mind your words, Milady... do not underestimate the Lady Boleyn. She will consider your loyalty to Queen Katherine as high treason.'

Looking at her he noticed the similarities between her and her father, their loyal devotion... but she misses the diplomatic skills to deal with the cunning Anne...
'You must choose.' he insisted, looking pleadingly into her eyes.
'If you want to serve Lady Anne, you have to say goodbye to the queen.'

I bite my tongue so I do not scream back an answer. I bow my head submissively,"I will not serve that woman above my conscience."

"I can't-she has done no wrong. It was not my choice to be her lady nor was it Her Majesty's choice to cast aside. She is on the side of the angels, Your Eminence, I intend to serve her as I promised and swore."

He stepped forward and took her hands in his, aware of her embarrassment but he had to do this, on behalf of his old friend.

´Listen to yourself! Even before me you can´t hide your love for the Queen, how could you hide it for the Lady Anne? And she will not like that, softly spoken! You will put yourself into danger, and therewith your whole family.'

Looking into her stubborn face his expression softened.
'I know your prior loyalty is to the queen, I hired you for that reason. As long as she is still at court, you should support her and only her... or serve Lady Anne the best way possible and do not contact the queen anymore. Choose and follow your heart, but make your choice and stick to it!'

I flinch as he holds my hands and bow my head. I whisper strongly,"I have no love for Lady Anne Boleyn. I know my duty. My brother appointed me to be her maid-I cannot disobey and I cannot abandon Her Majesty."

I sigh and take my hands from his,"I would rather serve Her Majesty in squaller than serve that woman in all her opulence. If you force to disobey my brother then I shall for I have no greater guide than my conscience."

I wish my father were here-he would tell me to do what my conscience dictated. He would help me and Her Majesty. My brothers look after their families which is understandable but I cannot leave The Queen. How could my father be friends with The Cardinal?

He sighed deeply. He could only warn her, he had no authority to force her but she had to know the consequences of her decisions.
'I would never ask you to disobey your own brother.... but perhaps you could talk with him about this, about your conscience and your feelings for the queen. He will surely understand the risks of putting you into a service where your heart can't agree with... and see the dangers of forcing you, not only for you but also for his own position.'

He looked at her, frowning and with compassion.
'I know you miss your father, my child, but you are an adult now and must follow your own way. If you want, I could talk with your brother as well, but don't ever act against your own conscience, you will regret forever...'

"I trust in my brother-he is a good man,"I then mumble to myself,"So like my father..."

I then continue,"Your Eminence surely remember's my father when he was my brothers age. He was called the fox-he fought beside the late King during the time when there was after war in this country. He never failed to succeed as he possessed the foresight to see who would win and he would slip seamlessly and improve his family and the monarch in power. My father was a man of greatness and my brother is like him in every way,"I then smile to myself and add,"As am I."

I conclude,"My father told me to serve the ruling monarch-pledge them your service and associate with those in power. He also told me though to never forget who you are...despite everything he never forgot and nor shall I. Thus I shall serve the lady in favour but I shall never forgot my queen, your queen, our queen."

She talked about her father and as she reminded his nickname he turned half away from her, overwhelmed by memories. He still missed his old friend, even though their opinions differentiated, they understood eachother and respected one another. He missed their long talkings, their sometimes heated discussions, but at one point they always stopped, looking into eachother's eyes, shrugging, smiling and then drank another wine together.

He awoke from his thoughts, that were the days when Henry was still happy with Katherine and everything had changed now. Loyalty.... a high good, but also at odds with another high good.... conscience.

He shook his head and turned back to her.
'You do the right thing, I am certain.... and no one can ever make us forget who is the true queen here...' he whispered.
'Remember every step you take has consequences... and be strong enough to accept them when the time comes.' he spoke almost to himself.
'Don't forget who you are, who your father was.... and no one can make you forget the ones you love.'

I smile a little and say with a little wit,"Your Eminence-I am but a woman and as such I doubt I will pose a great threat to Lady Anne. I am one of many flopping about court. If the Lady Anne finds me so displeasing she may force me from her household and I will leave-I can return to my home and live there for a while, perhaps look after my brother Thomas's children or Edward's son when he is sent to the country. I perhaps should fear Anne Boleyn but I do not..."

I sigh and continue,"My mother has prophesied that Anne Boleyn will eventually have her downfall and I agree. I believe all who love her now will fall too. I will have no need to fear when our good king has turned into a tyrant for I will be on the side of the angels-with Her gracious Majesty."

He lifted his head and replied strongly.
'Never say you are just a woman! Lady Anne is also "just a woman"! Don t think she will have mercy on you and just send you away. Disloyalty to her means she will punish you and also your whole family, she will not rest untill you all are needy and out of royal favor. Believe me, I know what I am speaking of.'

His eyes saddened and he sighed resigned.
'Watch your words, Milady.... the king is not a tyrant, he is only... misguided and will soon come to his senses again.' he shook his head as if he did not believe his own words.
'.... take care, lady Craven, and listen to your brother's advices, he is like your father and will only act in your welfare.'

I raise my eyebrows,"She is a Boleyn -Your Eminence- she is not just woman."

I then sigh a little in frustration and say again,"I will give her my service and my time but no more-thus I will not be disloyal. I doubt I can be burned for doing just my duties."

I then conclude with a bowed head,"I will do as my brother bids me and I will not articulate my opinions to anyone -surely silence is not treasonous now too?"

´She is indeed not "just a woman" and neither are you. Don't underestimate your own position in her household, she requires loyal and reliable ladies-in-waiting... she has enemies enough outside her own chambers.'

He sighed and smiled a little.
'No, you can't be burned for doing your duties, and silence is not treasonous... but silence means accordance and people will judge you on that.'

His smile disappeared and he whispered.
'... these are turbulent times, the best thing to do is follow your father and brother's advices and serve the ruling monarch, including the current wife at his side, no matter if you like her or not. Your opinions are yours only and as far as possible, you can act on them, but never lose sight of your ultimimate goals and never betray the ones you love.'

I nod,"I know it-the court ay be infatuated with her...for now however their passions will die as quickly as they were born."

I listen to his words and hear my father riddled through them. I bite my lips to hold back tears of nostalgia and mumble softly,"I thank Your Eminence -most deeply- for your concern of which I am ungrateful. I will serve their Majesties -whomever they may be,"I then add with a little grin,"However my true allies will be in my prayers always."

I then whisper,"...How long did you know my father?"

He frowned and bit his lips.
'All depends on her capability of giving him his long-awaited male-heir to the throne...' he said thoughtfull.
'... if she succeeds, he will be the luckiest alive. If not, well....' he shrugged, shaking his head.

'And don't thank me...I am sure your conscience will guide you very well.' he gently placed a hand on her shoulder for a short moment, he saw her father's outspoken nature back in her and it touched him deeply.

He smiled when she asked him about her father and gestured her to sit down. He poured some water into two goblets and handed her one, thinking where to start.
'Your father and I met at first in 1512 as we invaded France. Your father was a spokesman of the English troups and I arranged the facilities of the battle. Unfortunately, we did not succeed, largely because of the treacherous attitude of Ferdinand of Spain!' He squinted his eyes, thinking back, then smiled vaguely.

'One year later we were there again, the young king Henry commanded us himself. We consulted daily the matter of states and became friends from then. We disagreed regularly but were both loyal and devoted to the king.' he smiled wider.[b]'... and we surely both appreciated a good bottle of wine!'[b]

I take a seat on the comfortable chair and smile appreciatively as he hands me the goblet-I hesitate a little as I was always cautioned about water in the city of London.

I am distracted by his stories and smile at the thought of my father as a young man,"I do know how fond he was of Your Eminence's company. He would speak -especially in the evenings- of his days as a young man-meeting Your Eminence and other wondrous people. He was so incredibly wise and I remember one evening ,when it was very late and the night had fallen. He came to my room clutching a candle with Edward and Thomas grinning beside them and my mother looking radiantly beautifully-she was a great beauty when she was young and still is."

"We walked into the dark night and I remember feeling a magic in the air-everything was lit with the brilliant silvery light from the moon and it shone down on the little brook which ran by the castle,"I grin,"And my father told us about the stars and what they meant...he said he would name a star after us. We picked a brilliantly bright star and called it 'we four',"I wipe my damp cheek,"He said when the time would come we would meet again by that star and live a life of infinite joy together in heaven..."

I then shake my head and smile,"Anyway...I was just ten years old though and fell asleep around the third hour of the morning so he carried me back and I awoke in the morning back in bed and thought it all a dream...but a most magical of dreams.

He notices her hesitation and assures her.
'No fears, Milady... the water is from the tyburn source and not from the stream under London, it is clean.'

With attention he listens to her, smiling faintly.
'Your father was wise indeed and he knew everything about the stars! And now he is there, making a place for you all to join him in time.''

He frowns as he recalls the nights they sat outside in the open fields, the starry sky above them.
'He knew all their names and pointed me the constellations, using names like the Big Bear and Orion, the Milky Way and the Zodiac....' he looks at her and shrugs.
'I was impressed but can't point them out like he did. He used to test me and ask me to tell the name of a star but I could not distinguish them. We had a lot of fun while I just guessed.'he laughs hearty.

I nod at his assuring words and take a sip of the water and set the finely gilded goblet on the desk before me.

I then smile as he tells me of his memories and say in reply softly,"Nor I-I did never find it easy to differentiate between the stars -and though I can name a few- Edward out of the three of us is the better. He can name every star you see-he called them holes in the floor of heaven...rather a nice way to put it, i believe."

'Holes in the floor of heaven...' he repeats, nodding appreciative.
'Indeed a very nice way to put it.'

He throws a curious look at her and asks her gently.
'Your brothers are happily married... and what about you, milady? Do you have many suitors to repel? Is there someone special in your life?'