Suleyman's Living Room

After leaving the carriage I was escorted into the palace where slave girls cleaned and the smell of fine food was cooked in the kitchen. Their were I had noticed many corridors which led to different parts of the palace. The one which lead to the sultan chambers were adjoined with guards who stood silently with their backs to the wall. My legs were trembling as we reached nearer and nearer inside I was scared I didn't know what type of man he was whether he was short tempered, tall or small. Before me were two doors behind them stood all answers to the questions inside my mind. The guards knocked on the wooden doors the sound echoed down the hall and nervously I stood.

Outside I heard the strong voice of a man it was deep and bellowing. The doors opened and a ray of sunlight shone on my face I had to squint as I walked in. My nose was filled with the scent of fresh fruit you could hear a flicker of some candles burning. As I walked through the archway their was a pathway and I could visibly see my farther for a few moments I stopped still. I could feel tears in my eyes but yet I was not sad at all. I carried on walking as if my feet was carrying my body as I felt like I was floating. I stood still again taking in the back of a man who was my farther he had hands with enormous rings on all fingers nearly he posture was that of a certain man. Their were three little steps that I needed to go down before I was completely in the living room I was scared and frightened this was a man who had only seen me but once how cruel could fate be deep down I secretly wanted to have that daughter and farther bond and that alone was enough to let the tears rolling. It was that very bond that I wanted to have with him that made me feel torn as a person.

Hunkarim.

I whispered enough for him to hear me I let my body give way to the enormous pressure I felt at this moment and knelt with my head bowed down even if I wanted to move I couldn't.

I stood looking up at him slowly I saw that he had his arms open. I stepped down the little steps my heart was pounding it felt unnatural to just run into his arms and accept that their had been no absence in each others lives. I looked at him blankly for a moment it was sad that we were both strangers to each other and I looked at him with an uncertain look before uncomfortably letting him hug me. As I rested my head on his chest it felt like the most natural thing to do as if we had never been parted. I let a secret smile place on my lips as I rested myself against him.

It's nice to finally meet you my farther. Did you not love me because I was not an heir for your throne. For years I have felt like it was my wrong doing and that it is why you never saw me.

I could not control what was on my mind it just flooded out but not on purpose.

Forgive me I do not mean to make you feel bad. I just want to be a part of your life.

I wrapped my arms even tighter around him now that I had finally met him I was reluctant to let go.

Yes I did miss something actually having a farther.

Determination was one thing I was I knew that other concubines lived at this palace with their children so why was it different when it came to me. Perhaps it was the reason that my mother was no longer his favourite that I was tossed aside. I smiled back at him but I was still unhappy with his choice it must be evident that it wasn't the best choice for me.

Yes I am happy to be back at palace I was looking forward to seeing who you really are.

I just hoped I wouldn't regret the decision to come back.

I went and sat next to him their wasn't much to tell him about my life it was very simple and plain. Two thoughts crossed my mind he was either trying to marry me off already the other was of less importance.

Well you gave me the rank of a princess but I always get treated like a slave girl. I take walks and I like to read about other kingdoms.

I had an inclining that my arrival was due to some sort of marriage plan. I wanted some time to grow and figure out who I was as a person before I was made to marry to strengthen the ottoman dynasty.

I would like for us to be honest with each other may I call you baba or would you prefer me to call you hunkarim.

I gave a proud smile as he held my chin we had nearly the same facial features except my hair was darker.

I have had not that much contact with others and i've heard what people are like in this palace. On your second day of being a King you had one of your men beheaded. I am fearful of the slaves.

I whispered but it was more like I just lipped the word to him.

Where I used to live their was always an old lady who would draw an eye which had to inner eyes inside outside my quarters in the sand I think she was trying to ward if the evil.

It was nice to see him acting fartherly towards me but I knew deep down inside him their was a temper everyone had one including me.

I shan't consult with them it's just an experience that happened with me. So what is it like here what are the people like.

I was not sure how to feel at this moment in time but I knew that I wanted to leave. What he described was a life that simply wasn't for me. Material things were for eager slaves who wanted to be better than the others but they were not for me.

Thank you but I just want the love of my farther that is all you can give me and it's all that I have ever wanted from you.

Gently I placed my hand on top of his. I wanted to learn all about him.

A brother I look forward to meeting him but when you ate being just a man away from everybody what do you do.

I grabbed his hand tightly I was scared it was like being thrown to the wolfs only they were female and all eye's would be on me. Right now I didn't really want to be in anyone else's company but his.

Babba, Can you come with me? I know that I am an adult but this shall be slightly overwhelming for me I don't know anyone here.

I started to feel my whole neck turn red as I panicked.

I relaxed knowing that he would not leave me so alone again. At times it felt like I only had one parent and I was uncertain as to where my mother was I was going to ask him when he mentioned his Queen. I gave a kind smile nodding as he mentioned a gift for me as he opened it my eye's grew big never before had I ever seen a jewel this size. I gulped hoping not to break it I turned lifting up my hair ready for my farther to place it around my neck.

I have never seen such jewels before I do have clumsy fingers so I hope not to break it.

After my babba had placed the necklace on it felt strange to feel the heavyweight if this jewel at my throat. I would have to get used to it wearing jewels was new to me. Because my babba was trying very hard to make me welcome I smiled just for him as I turned to show him.

What do you think? Does it sit right around my neck. Dare I say that the gemstone is as big as you're rings.

A eunuch arrives with a message:

"Hunkarim, my dearest Uncle it is my greatest pleasure to have returned to your great Palace and be surrounded by my family. It is my deepest wish that I be granted the honour of meeting with you before the Summer Delight for it has been too long since I last saw you and I wish to spend my time at the meeting with Nuriye so she will not feel so alone. Your Niece Esmehan"

The eunuch had been asked by Esmehan to wait for an answer and then return to her chambers where she anxiously awaits to hear from her beloved Uncle

I listened carefully it was hard to know what to feel when reunited with your farther.

I'm not really the sentimental type as I've never really had anything to be sentimental about. And I am still keeping all my options open. You got rid of me once how do I know you won't do the same again.

Whenever I tried to let him in I built up my walls reminding myself of what once happened to me when I was innocent.

I don't hate you but I don't love you either I'm sorry if that upsets you I need time to adjust. I don't perceive you as a horrid man as you are my farther but our relationship is cracked was it worth sending me away was it worth it.