Rose Bush

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Tue Aug 21, 2012 9:23 pm

Emilie listen atentively to Mary's words, the air serious, take a deep inspiration and shake her head.

I doubt he could on the road for join me because if he was, he would certainly have send a note to me for warn me about his coming.

The air worried, she add.

Yes maybe there is a new matter in his kingdhom or at his court, I don't know, I wish that it isn't the case, this rebellion must have yet create very much trouble.

She bite her lip.

I hope so ... his absence get even more heavy with time, I can't be really reassured about future without seeing him again and having him by my side, sometimes I fear to don't see him again at all.

Emilie smile.

Yes it's a very good start ... but you know, if you care of someone, its mean that you love this person, so in my opinion, there is yet a kind of love between you and him.

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Wed Aug 22, 2012 3:07 pm

I nodded to her.

''I do hope as well that nothing is wrong in his kingdom...Maybe he just need more time to make sure that everything is alright there before he comes here...Oh don't say that you will see him again I am sure''

I smiled a little.

''Maybe it is....I don't know but I really look forward to our wedding and life that I will share with him''

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Wed Aug 22, 2012 8:45 pm

She sigh, feeling melancolical.

Maybe, indeed ... yes I think I will, but it's seem so far away for now, he seem like in another world than me and I miss him, i miss him so much.

She smile softly.

I understand, you must be so thrilled about this wedding and this new life with him to began, I hope that you will be very happy with him.

She look around and glance to her daughter, seeing the small playing with her dolls.

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Thu Aug 23, 2012 12:21 am

I hugged her gently.

''I know how you feel but he will come back to you.He loves you''

I smiled kindly.

''Thank you! And I do hope that you will be happy as well and to have a new life''

I said softly,looking around then back to Emilie.

'' With all my heart I wish for you and Olympe to be happy which both of you deserve''

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Thu Aug 23, 2012 5:20 pm

Emilie hug her back, feeling her heart heavy and sad.

I hope so, Mary, I just hope so, as long as he remain absent I can only hope and wait, for how many times ? I have no idea.

She sigh heavely.

I hope so too, my dear, I wish it very much ... this new life that I await for a so long time is very late to come and look very from now, so far that I doubt that it will really happen. You know, the words of love and promesses are very beautiful but it's only words, I need the things happening, the facts being dones, the project being realized for can believe it will be.

She shrugg, feeling melancolical.

You know, Olympe and me are happy together, I have always been alone with her ,aside while the seven months where her father have live with us and I have go through so many terrible events and such a terrible heartache that I feel very strong and able to survive to anything which will not kill me. So, if Armand ...

She take a deep inspitation as this thought break her heart, then she continue.

Give up me and our projects, I will be heartbroken beyong words and unable to love any other man ... but I will survive and succed in being happy as long as I have my Olympe.

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Fri Aug 24, 2012 1:48 am

I nodded to her and smiled softly.

''It will happen...Maybe it looks now that you will never have that new life but I can feel in my heart that everything will be fine,and that you will finally be happy.Yes it is only a words but you should not lose your hope,he will surely come back to you and show you how much he loves you''

I said trying to console her.Then I squeezed her hand gently.

''I wish I was there in that time with you and Olympe.You are strong and I know that you know can survive everything,but still you must stay positive and not to lose hope that he will come back.''

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Fri Aug 24, 2012 11:52 pm

Emilie look down at the path, feeling so melancolical among this wonderful garden.

I still hope Mary, I hope that he will come back to me, but each day that past without any sign of him tire off a piece of the tissue of which my hope is made, deep in my heart, making it blood, blood and blood more ...

Her voice break as tears fill her pale green eyes and flow along her face irresistibly, like animated of their own willing, she gasp she try to continue to talk, then breath deeply for recover her voice and continue.

All this love story with him, all theses kisses, theses embraces, theses words of love, all this feel like just a dream without him and I feel like if I made a oath with a wraith, it's can't be real if he isn't there by my side for make it true, do you understand ?

She wipe tears off her eyes of her better.

Well, we wasn't very closes of each others at these times, not like now and you don't knowed for the good reason that I hadn't tell you, so you musn't feel guilty about it.

She glance to her daughter, feeling reassured to see her still taken in her game carefreely and turn to Mary, looking in her eyes.

I know, I do so of my best.

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Sat Aug 25, 2012 1:30 am

I looked at her softly and squeezed her hand gently.

'' I do understand Emilie and I know how you feel.You need him by your side to know that this all is real and not just a dream .And more you wait for him It breaks your heart and make you unsure about his love.Am I right?''

I asked already know the answer.

''Yes we were not to close in that time but still I wish that I was there''

I sad sadly,looking at her.

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Sat Aug 25, 2012 11:07 pm

Emilie squeeze Mary's hand back, feeling comforted by her friend's kindness and nodd, gazing at the bush of red roses, her view blurred by the tears.

Yes, it's exactly that, more I wait for him as he don't come back nor write to me, more it's break my heart and more I doubt about his love for me ... I don't feel sure of anything about him and our projects for the future, I don't know if you can image it's terrible feeling.

She glance to her daughter again seeing her placing her dolls on a bench and sitting by her side while seeming to talk to them and she continue.

In fact, the only thing about which I am sure is that I love him and that if he leave me, I will never get married, because if it isn't him, it will be nobody else.

She turn to her and put a hand on her shoulder, looking at her sadly.

[color=violet]Me too, I wish that you was there, I know that you would has been able to appease my heartache and to help me to find again the light and a sens to my life. And with your wisenes, you would certainly have prevent me from doing some stupidies like losting my honor with this pervert and manipulative man whom I don't even loved, in a unuseful attempt to forget the immense sorrow I felt after my first rupture with Olympe's father, while in fact it have only make me feel shameful of myself in a amount you can't even imagine and even worse than before.[/collor]

She sigh.

But we can't change the past, unfortunately and the essential is that we have get much closer since then and you bring me more than I could tell.

She feel happy and sad at the same time as she think to Margaret and continue.

You know, your sister has been there for me as much as she has been able to, especially when I most needed her, just after my first rupture, she have spend hours sat by my bed's side watching over me while I was ill and comforting me of her better. And when I has been chased away from court by the queen because of my pregnancy, she have take me at her household in the Suffolk. And even after when I have acquire Eastnor and move there, she have visits me there and, you probably ignorate it, but she have even assist me in my daughter's birth. A friend like that, it's so rare and though, I have the chance to have find as much precious friend as her in you, my dear. You and her are very different, but you both have in commun to have most kinds hearts and to be the two best friend I ever had, such good friends are more precious than all the fortunes and jewelries of the world .

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Sun Aug 26, 2012 1:13 am

I looked at her softly.

''I can not imagen how you feel and I would do everything just to not see you like this....I hope that he comes back,but Emilie you shouldn't speak like that,If he don't come back you will fall in love again and you will surely find someone who deserve you ''

I said trying to console her.

''Oh my dear everyone make a mistakes when they young,believe me when I say that i wasn't better and not wiser.That is all in the past my dear and we can think what would happened if I did something different?But I guess that we will never know only thing we can do from past is to learn from it.''

I smiled to her kindly.

''I am glad that she was with you in that time and that she helped you with everything.Yes we are very different but we are lucky to have you as a friend and I can say the same such a good friend like you is precious than all the fortune in the world.''

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Sun Aug 26, 2012 6:40 pm

She shake her head slowly and tell her gravely in a certain and determined tone.

No Mary, it's yet has been very hard to open my heart to him and rely on him, to feel again this marvellous and terrific weakeness and to take the risk to be heartbroken and abandoned again, I have accept because I have feel he is the one, the man of my life and I still feel that. But I know that if I lost him, if I am so deeply heartbroken and disappointed again, I will never love again, I know that.

She sigh.

But of course, I hope that he will come back and I love him still and am ready to marry him and share my life with him ... but with his absence and silence, I have only hopes.

She listen attenvtively to her and nodd.

Yes, you are very right, many people do mistakes while their youngness and the only thing that we can do about our past is to recognize our mistakes and learn from them for don't commit them again and so lead your life better.

She feel deeply touched and moved in hearin Mary's words, wipe her tears off her eyes.

It's true, unfortunately, there isn't many people conscient of it, most of people at court is eager for gain more fortune, tittles, privileges, alliances and materials goods, it's never enough and they want more and more but it's not always bring them happiness and they forget what is free and though so wonderful, friendship, love, family, the simples happinesses of life, I find it sad for them.

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Mon Aug 27, 2012 2:21 pm

I looked at her softly not knowing what to say to easy her pain.

''I understand and if I am you it would be the same.But we should hope that he will come back to you and that everything shall be fine....Yes we all made mistakes when we were young and to learn from them but sometimes we do repeat same mistakes from past.''

I smiled to her softly and nodded.

''Yes most people here eager for gain more fortune, tittles, privileges, alliances and materials goods,and they are able to do anything for it.It is very sad to see that I know I have fortune, tittles, privileges but that doesn't make me happy that makes me very lonely because almost everyone wants to use you because of it.And what is impotent in life is friendship, love, family, the simples thing that makes you happy.''

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Mon Aug 27, 2012 8:06 pm

She nodd, a grave air on her face as shadows of the featers of the tree and sunshin play on her face.

I am keeping hope and you are right, but most of the time, when she repeat mistakes we did yet do in the past, it's because we hadn't recognize nor assumate this mistake at the time while when you do, most of the time, it's prevent you from repeating this error.

She listen to her with interest, understanding how she must feel, thinking that being a princess isn't the dream that people can imagine, she nodd.

Indeed having fortune, tittles and privileges surely don't make happiness by themselfs and I imagine how harsh it must feel to have all theses people around you who are trying to use you for try to get the same things without paying sincere interest in you as person. It's surely implicate many moments of solitudiness indeed since there must be only a few good and sincere peoples around you.

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Mon Aug 27, 2012 11:50 pm

I nodded to her with a small smile.

''It is good that you still have hope even if you feel the pain.Yes maybe but sometimes we know that we do wrong but still we do it again,but it is up to the person ''

I gave her a small smile and shrugged.

''Yes it is very hard but now I get used to it and I know how to recognize a person who wants to use me.It was very hard for me when I was young but now I don't care I am lucky to have few people around me who are good and sincere and whom I can call my friends,that is enough for me''

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Tue Aug 28, 2012 7:55 pm

Emilie nodd, the air grave.

Indeed it's up to the person, I guess that it's may happen to do again something wrong while you know it's wrong, I can understand as long as you don't cause harm to anyone in doing that.

She smile slighty too.

Yes, I guess that as princess, there will always be people for try to use you, they don't even deserve your interest, the most important is your real friends who love you without conditions.

She smile more widely.

Does your marriage's organization advance well ?, my dear, do you have choice the church man who will marry you with his grace?

Olympe take her dolls off the bench where she had place and install them back in the carriage with great care and delicatess, then push it while walking, toward Mary and Emilie, and come closer to them.

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Wed Aug 29, 2012 12:05 am

I nodded to her.

''Yes but when we repeat our mistakes we hurt ourself and not the others...Yes there will always be the people who will try to use me but I am fortune to have friends like you my dear''

I said with brightly smile.

''His grace wants Bishop Fisher to celebrate our wedding ceremony and I agree.I just need to talk with my brother about it.About other preparations we didn't talk,we are waiting for my brother to tell as finally date for our marriage and then we shall plan all things''

I said and smiled to Olympe when she came closer to us.

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Wed Aug 29, 2012 8:03 pm

Emilie nodd.

But you know, I can bear to hurt myself even if i try to don't to, but I refuse to hurt others, as long as I can.

She isn't really pleased to hear that it's this fisher who could celebrate her best friend's marriage, because, even if she don't know him personally, she know from her brother and sister in lutherian religion that he is one of the most zealot and extremist catholique religious men of england, maybe even the worst and it's seem clear that he sat by katerine and her partisans's side and refuse reforms.

Fisher ?! ... uh ....

She hesitate, then think it's better to keep for her her thoughts, she know that in spite of their wonderful friendship, her and Mary hadn't the same ideas at all in many things, especially about religion and ideas, after all no matter who will marry her, the most important is her friend's happiness, anyway she know that she must keep secret about her lutherian ideas.

Yes, well, you will see what he will tell ... the important thing is that you will surely marry very soon after a long waiting, it's seem that everything will soon be readly.

She smile broadly.

I am very happy to see all this happiness happening to you, it's great news.

She turn to her daughter too and look at her with tenderness.

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Thu Aug 30, 2012 2:59 pm

''I know me as well ...I would rather hurt myself than anyone else''

I looked at her confused.

''Yes Fisher.You don't think that he is good for it?''

I asked softly.Then I smiled to her happily.

''Yes I think that I will very soon marry....And I must say that I can not wait to be his wife.Thank you my dear!''

I said with brightly smile

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Thu Aug 30, 2012 8:09 pm

Hearing Mary's question, she understand that her face may have betray her feeling about this man, she take a deep inspiration and answer her carefully, don't wanting to tell anything that could hurt her.

Well ... I am sure that he is a good church man and perfectly able to celebrate your marriage with the duke ...

She reflect, choicing her words carefully and add.

I think that you know opinion and position about his majesty's marriage possible annulement and you also know how fisher behaved at the trial ...

Emilie smile happily.

I understand you, you must look even more forward to it now that it's very soon to happen. Are you able to see him often ?

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Thu Aug 30, 2012 8:32 pm

I nodded to her slowly.

''Yes I do think that he is perfect for it....Yes I know and I admire him for that,he was the only one who defended her and stood up against my brother''

I said seriously ,looking at her.

''You know that I was married before but I do have feeling like I will marry for the first time.Oh not as much as I would like,but yes I do see him often''

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Sat Sep 01, 2012 9:19 pm

Emilie's face remain impassible but redden up while inwardly, she is a bit vexed and saddened as she discover how much Mary's opinion about Fisher is totally different of hers, she thinked that Mary did just admire the church man but she discover that she agree with his arrogant behaviour at trial and think that her choice is maybe even motivated by this.
She can't understand how she can approve a man who have offend her brother, the king, pushed by a obvious religious fanasticism, for defend a queen of whom legitimity and loyalty toward toward the king are very contestables and who have act so unkind, cold and heartless toward her when she did serve her.
She sigh, thinking that anyway most of people think like her, especially at court, probably because they don't really know Katerine and see her like she want to be seen, like the propaganda present her and that Mary isn't the only one among her friends to think this way.
Most of people of this country are so conservative, if there wasn't reformers, this kingdom that she love would remain frozen in the past and never have a chance to finally get independent from the pope's control and Spain's domination and emprise nor to evoluate and develop for become a great country.
She reflect to what to answer and think that it's unuseful to tell her what she really think because she don't want it for turn to a argue, especially with her best friend and that whatever she will tell, it will not make evoluate her friend's opinion, she know that only thoses who yet was heart-opened for a deep changement and reform in England and eager to learn about lutherian ideas, share her opinions.
She shrugg, looking around at the garden while answering her vaguely.

If you think so ... after all it's your mariage.

She turn again to her, a serious air on her face.

I can understand, you was so young back then and even if it's arranged marriage, you agree with it and obviously love or at last like your future husband, so it's normal that you feel it very different as if it was first one, but anyway, it will be different, since it's different person and different time. It's good this way, you will soon get to know him better.

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Sat Sep 01, 2012 11:20 pm

I nodded to her knowing that she don't like Katherine very much and that she likes Anne so I decided to not say anything about it any more.

''Yes I was very young then and your father died very soon after our marriage so I didn't have feeling like I was married at all.I do like him him very much the more you get to know him I know that I will be very happy with him....And I can not wait to share the future with him and to learn much more about him''

I said happily looking at her.

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Mon Sep 03, 2012 1:09 am

She feel glad that Mary choice to don't talk about this delicate topic anymore, like herself because it's obvious their opinions are too much radically different for ever being able to agree on a commun opinion and she sigh, hoping that changements that she wish for since a so long time will happen fastly.
She listen attentively to Mary as she anser her and nodd.

I understand that you felt this way, especially since indeed this marriage have last a very short time because my father was yet gravely ill at the moment and you was so very young and it was a arranged marriage without any other aim than a solid alliance between France and England.

She smile softly.

I am very glad to hear it, my dear, I am sure that you will get to like him even more with time while you will get to know him better.

She giggle.

I can see how thrilled you are at the idea to marry him and to share his life indeed, I am sure that you will be very happy and have a bright future.

She turn to her daughter as she stand by her side and she stroke her hairs.

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Mon Sep 03, 2012 3:21 pm

I smiled to her softly.

''Yes but if your father have lived,I am sure that I would be happy with him.No meter how quickly ended our marriage,I will always remember him and the little time we spent together''

I said honestly.The i goggled a softly.

''I am sure that in time I will like him even more than now and maybe I will love him...yes I am very thrilled and I know for sure that I will be happy with him.i do wish the same for you as well,my dear''

Subject: Re: Rose Bush Tue Sep 04, 2012 1:07 am

Emilie smile softly as she answer him about her father, feeling this mixture of happiness of having know him , sadness to have lost him and immense tenderness and love that she always feel when she talk or think about him, of course his spirit visit her often in secret, but it isn't the same thing than when he was alive and he isn't exactly the same than he was when he was alive.

I am very glad to hear it and that you keep good memories of him, I am sure that he also would has been happy to spend a more long time of his life with you, if he had live a more long tim and, you surely have make him happy.

She nodd.

I am sure that you will, my dear and you feel as a thrilled future wife who can't wait for marry the man she like very much.

Her face take a air a bit grave and she smile a bit sadly.

Thank you, I wish it will be, even if as you know, I even, doubt that it will happen at all, I just continue my life, day by day, in trying to don't think to him in waiting for see if he come back to me.

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