The Balcony

"I highly doubt that all ladies are too virtuous." Virtuous shakes her head in disagreement "Women can be like wine. Some are too sweet, too bitter, or just right. But, I won't judge you on your thoughts of marriage."

Anthony smiled and remarked, "You seem very wise for your years."

"Thank you." Victoria wraps her shawl tightly around her upper half of her boy as the Winter wind gets colder "I best be going. Tis a pleasure to have met you, Sir Anthony."

Anthony nodded and bowed his head with a smile, "And you my lady Victoria. Have a pleasant night."

Anthony trudged out onto the great hall, moving past the dancers and other courtiers to stand at the balcony. He was handed a goblet of wine and he immediately emptied the cup.

What had he done? He loved Joan, of that there was no question. Yet, he was hurt by her fickle nature that he believed she had not accepted any responsibility for. His own selfishness meant that he did not consider any fears she may have held about their marriage, instead his mind focused upon his own melancholy musings.

He stared pensively across the darkening horizon, the sun blazing as it disappeared behind the hills in the late afternoon sunset.

Anthony sighed, feeling more content now he had family near. He touched his hand over hers, "God knows. I feel all my reservations about marriage and commitment are unfolding before my eyes.."

He reclined to lean against the balcony, "I'm sorry for involving you in it, Abby."

He shrugged, "I love her," he said plainly and glanced up to Abigail, "I've never loved someone as I do her...and we've...been with each other. It was the right thing to do."

He shook his head and scratched his chin, "Yet she seems distant and she has changed I feel - I cannot place why."

His jaw nearly dropped at Abigail's words, "I...God I don't know. I don't think so...I'm sure she would have said."

Anthony shook his head and glanced to the gardens again, "It was rushed - a hurry. Part of me wanted to get it over and done with. I thought I'd lost her when I left Cornwall but when she came back to court...I thought there was hope. I almost wanted to make her mine before she could tear herself from me again."

He couldn't help but smirk endearingly at Abigail. She had grown so much and seemed so confident in court - he felt strangely proud of her, "I'm not ignorant, Abby," he said with a slight chuckle,"I just - I just assumed she would have told me if she were."

He added, "I simply trusted her to divulge my emotions and she didn't give me the reaction I expected. I don't know how to mend things - she is distant now."

He shrugged, "What's done is done...I hope things will get better but for now...I don't know how they will go on."

He glanced up to her and smiled weakly, "Enough of my woes - how is court?"

Anthony grinned at her enthusiasm, she seemed to light up when she spoke about medicine, "I'm glad you are enjoying it so far! What was the man like?"

Anthony chuckled, knowing Abigail's thoughts on marriage. She was fiercely independent, entirely capable of looking after herself but as he was her brother - and there was something so gentle in her nature - he was equally solicitous to her well being.

"You never know Abby, you may be as great a fool as I and fall in love with someone in court. I took her to Cornwall with that in mind - I thought we could spend some time there and I could show her the place I love, my home...now, I'm not sure. I feel our argument has almost sullied Chavenage for me."

He shook his head, almost trying to convince himself. She had a point - he could leave and go travelling again, like he had done before. He could meet his friends in Europe and abandon responsibility. As tempting as it was - he was determined to remain.

"I can't, Abby. Our families agreed it and so did she and I. We took vows and I can't break them - no matter how tempting and easy it may be. I've ran from this situation all my life...I won't now."

He smiled gently as he felt her little head upon his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her in a brotherly fashion, "I am so proud of your accomplishments. I give you my full blessing to use my home for your work. Cornwall is better than any battle field."

"I'm only unhappy now. She made me happy before and she can make me happy again," he replied.

"There's nothing to forgive, Abigail," he replied kindly, "I would behave the same if you were in my situation...in-fact, I'd probably behave worse."

He then chuckled, "In the city - yes - but...it's full of bawds and drunks. You don't belong in a place like that."