Elizabeth Craven's BedChamber

I grin and walk to the door. I pause and cup her face in my hands and plant a gentle kiss on her forehead.

Goodbye my Lizzie.

I let him cradle me and kiss me and let him hold me and I feel at home. I feel safe and feel my heart swell.

I rub my eyes and then chap the door to Bridgets room,"Bridget! Are you awake?"

Bridget jumped up, and sees Elizabeth.

"Yes. Yes I am awake," she continued," What is wrong? Is everything okay," she asked.

I carefully unlatch the door and lean against the door frame,"I have to go. I will not be here tonight and no one will know-I need you to promise you will tell no one...not yet"

I place my slender hand on my belly unconsciously and rush back to my room and gather some fabric and ribbon. I take a pale object from my wardrobe and a paler still long line of fabric. I fold the things and wrap them into a bundle,"I will return tomorrow and we will not speak of to anyone-I will explain then."

I glance to Bridget as I throw a cloak over my shoulders,"You can stay in my room while I am gone and I will make it sure a guard is by the door so your stepmother may not harm you."

Bridget sat up straight; in bed, and rested on her elbows. She arched an eyebrow, and looked at Elizabeth. What did she mean? Where was she going? She had to ask! She had to! But, like Elizabeth said she would explain once she returned. With that Bridget nodded. "Of course, my lady," she said, and added a nod.

Alfonsina came Elizabeth's room. She didn't know what they would talk about but she had some guesses. She knocked her door slowly.

"Sister.. Are you there?"

I settle my son into his little cot, nothing like his at home. It is so strange how my life at court which I was so unhappy with is what I now crave like a constant hunger.

I walk to the door as I hear my sisters voice,"Alfonsina,"I smile,"Come..."
I open the door wider and allow her in.

She entered the room with smiling.

"How are you , sister?

She asked soflty.

I smile but it does not reach my eyes,"Oh I am well...and you?"

"Would you like something to eat or drink?"

She shook her head.

"No thank you sister.. I rather to speak with you. Please sit.. "

She smiled.

I nod and sit on my little sofa by the bay window,"How have you been...have you recovered from child bed fever?"

She smiled and nodded.

"Yes.. Thanks God I recovered. Thomas was sick , too. But we both are fully-recovered and well now. I pray for it everyday. What about you? How have you been? How is marriage?"

I softly chuckle,"Marriage...it is everything I thought it would be yet...and yet though it is what I have always wanted, I have never been more unhappy."

"Are you unhappy sister? Why?"

She asked with a curious and sad voice.

I shrug,"My life is not how I thought it would be..."

She held her hand.

"Tell me sister.. You know you can trust me."

I smile weakly,"When I was little, I always imagined myself marrying for love-a boundless, ungovernable love, like a riot in the heart. I thought I'd then be utterly content but...though I am married, I do not love my husband and I resent my situation."

She nodded.

"I understand , sister.. But I don't understand that why you married with a man whom you don't love.. Nobody forced you as much as i know.."

I groan in frustration,"I had no choice,"I mumble.

"My son...he is not...he was conceived within wedlock and what's more he isn't my husbands son."

She smiled indulgently. It wasn't surprising for her. Back in Genoa , She knew a lot of woman who had the same thing with Elizabeth and almost all of them came to Alfonsina to get some advice.

"I understand.. what was the reason that you couldn't marry your son's father?"

"He...he left,"I reply.

For a moment , Alfonsina thought Anthony. He had left ,too. Then she turned to Elizabeth again.

"Then my dearest sister.. You did the right thing. I know this is painful.. I know how it makes you feel to marry whom you do not love. You share the same bed with him every night. I know the feeling.. "

Then she added.

"Have you ever seen him since you came to the court again?"

I glance up,"I have had luck then as I have had my own chamber for the duration of our marriage, my son is not yet a year old and as such I have had an excuse not to...consummate. What do you say? Do you mean you do not love my brother?"

She shook her head.

"Of course I love Edward."

I raise my eyebrows,"And how is he?"