Pond in the woods near to the palace

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Mon Sep 03, 2012 12:38 am

She nodd slighty.

Yes, I understand, I hope that I will soon get to know better the woman that you have become in growing up while theses three years far from here and what interest you now.

Anne's face get very place as she recall of the terrible event, still very feared, she sigh, regretting to have evocate it because she know that her sister will probably get upset.

Yes ... well you are here since a short time and it happened at last automn, in november, so it isn't a fresh news.

She take a deep breath and add.

In fact my mare have slip while she was trotting, she have get panicked and bolt, I have fall off her back ... in a deep ravine below.

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Mon Sep 03, 2012 3:12 pm

I smiled slightly to her ''Since I am here now and planing to stay for long,you will have a opportunity to know me better''I said and then looked at her ''Why no one have told me?I would come to be with you.Thank God hat you are alright and that nothing serious didn't happened to you'' I said with relief

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Tue Sep 04, 2012 12:29 am

Anne nodd and smile.

And I am sure that I will and you will have to know me better too, because I change very much too while theses last three years.

She feel moved up to tears as Sybille tell her that she would had want to be there with her, thinking that she wish her sister has been there at the moment too, she sigh.

I know, but you know, mama and papa was so very worried and preoccuped about me that they probably hadn't think to warn people about what was happening and when I have recover, they was so relieved that they have maybe prefer to forget the event, it's probably why you hadn't been informed.

Anne nodd slowly.

Yes, fortunately, I hadn't keep physical after effects of it. But, unfortunately, psycologically, it isn't the same thing, especially while riding horse.

In spite of herself, the memories come back in her mind, she see herself again as if it happened yesterday or even was happening right now, laying down the cold mud of the ravine, juste under the rocks that had cute her skin all over her body, and all this blood flowing from her nose and from her opened forehead, she had its metallic taste in her mouth.
And her swollen ankle that had turn to darkblue and couldn't bear her body in spite of her attempts for get up and she gazed at this unreachable path above her praying god for someone go by there and rescue her.

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Tue Sep 04, 2012 3:01 pm

I smiled to her nodding ''I am sure that you have changed as well and I am so happy that I can get to know you better'' I sighed and shook my head ''Yes probably is that.Still they should let me know.in time your fear from riding horses will disappear but for now that is absolutely normal.''

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Tue Sep 04, 2012 6:43 pm

Anne nodd, a grave air on her face.

Yes, they probably should have.

She shrugg.

I hope so, I know that I will never be able to forget it, you can't even imagine how much horrible it was, but maybe the fear will disappear. I force myself to ride horses again sometimes like today, because I know that if I don't, I risk to never be able to ride horse again at all.

She sigh.

But it isn't the same as before the accident, I feel tense and worried, I don't allow myself to go too far of the castle alone nor to galopp nor even to trott and I refuse to go to ride if the weather is humid like it was this day.

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Wed Sep 05, 2012 3:25 pm

I nodded to her. ''Of course I don't know how you feel it must be horible to be able to remember everything that happen and that will always be with you.I know that you are scared but now I am here with you and I will try to help you to get throug this'' I said softly.

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Wed Sep 05, 2012 10:46 pm

Anne nodd, looking at a invisible point in the clear water of the pond, the air thoughtful.

Yes, it is horrible, I recall each detail of what happened and I still think to it very often.

She look at Sybille with soft eyes.

Thank you very much for it, sister, I am happy that you can be here for me, now that you are back.

She sigh

I don't think I will ever be able to forget it, especially since it was really traumatic event, I was alone when I had this accident and unable to get out of this ravine since I couldn"t even stand up on my legs and I has had to wait ...

She reflect, trying to determinate it.

I don't even know how many time exactly I have remain in there but I know that I left the stables with my horse in the early morning, that accident happened probably between one and two hours afterward and that it was afternoon when I was back to the castle, carried in the count's arms, like a little child.

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Thu Sep 06, 2012 12:18 pm

I nodded to her. ''I can imagen how it is for you to live with that fear all the time but i will try to help you in anyway that I can.Oh my dear little sister I am so sorry that you experienced such an event all alone and far from palace,you must have been very scared.I thank God that the count find you and brought you home to us where you are always safe''

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Thu Sep 06, 2012 7:56 pm

Anne smile softly and answer her with sincerity, feeling reassured and protected to have her big sister with her again.

Thank you for that, my beloved sister, it mean a lot for me.

She nodd.

Yes, I was very scared, I think that I have never been that much scared of my life, I feared that a wild animal, attracted in the ravine by my blood, would take advantage of my state of weakness, knowing that I would be totally unable to escape nor to defend myself, I also did wonder how many time I could survive to the coldness with this cool, liquid, viscous mud that did cover my body until under the clothes and also if I would survive until someone find me.

She sigh, then smile slighty as she recall of the feeling of releaving that she felt when she seen this knight on his tall black horse, yelled to him to stop and seen him stopping his horse, looking in the ravine and finding her, she knew at this moment that this awake nightmare was ended.

I thank god for it too and I have thank himself about it along with our parents. Life is priceless and when you have fear to lost it, you realize even more how precious and fragile and that you are lucky you to be alive. I have never been so happy to see our parents and home than this time, everything did seem wonderful after it !

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Fri Sep 07, 2012 11:24 am

I looked at her tenderly. ''I hate that you had to get through that and to experience something like that in your age.But what I think is that make you stronger and because of it you grown up quickly than you should.And make you to treasure life much more than before and everything around you'' i said looking at her.

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Fri Sep 07, 2012 4:58 pm

Anne reflect intensely to her sister's words, the air grave and thoughtful, so adult like yet, then she nodd slowly.

Yes, it's a bit true, I feel stronger since then, I know that if something of terrible like that happen to me, I can survive it and feel stronger afterward and I also see that after having exprienced such a thing, I will not get feared easely anymore. And it's also right that I feel older since then and treasure life, the people I love and everything around me more than ever before.

She sigh.

Though, I wish to nobody to live that, I wouldn't wish it to my worse ennemy. But I am proud to have survive it, I am much more strong than I thinked to be.

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Fri Sep 07, 2012 11:52 pm

I nodded to her. ''I do hope that you will never again be in this kind of situation.And this made you stronger.It's good to be scared sometime. It means you still have something to lose.'' I said softly. ''And yes you should be proud,you survive it and you are dealing with this like a adult, not many people can say that''

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Sun Sep 09, 2012 9:20 pm

Anne sigh and nodd.

It's true, it's when you have risk to lost everything that you realize the better all that you have got of precious, that you was so sure to have got for ever that you didn't seen anymore. But though, indeed, I wish to never be again in this kind of situations.

In hearing Sybille's words, she feel a proudness that she never felt, a bright smile appear on her lips, all her face lighten up and her eyes shine.

I must admit, even if I may seem lack of modesty, that I am very proud of myself for having survive, go through this ordeal and deal with it.

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Mon Sep 10, 2012 6:09 pm

I nodded slightly. ''I do hope and wish with all my heart that you will never be in that situation.And you should be proud of yourself you have every right to be.You survive it and that what is most important,you survive'' I said softly.

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Mon Sep 10, 2012 8:12 pm

Anne smile to Sybille, then she swim further in the pond water, thoughful, thinking with apprehension to thefuture love life that awaite her when she will be married and she turn again to Sybille.

You told me that didn't like your husband at first ... can you tell me at which moment do you have feel that you was falling in love with him ? How did you realize it ?

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Tue Sep 11, 2012 12:43 am

I looked at her, thinking for a moment before I spoke. ''We started to spend more time together,just talking about different things,and in some poin I realized that I love him.I can not tell you how do I know that is something you just know,you just feel it.Love is just....you always want to be with him, you think about him all the time,you trust him, you smile just thinking about him, you notice little things about him that you like,you want to make him happy, you just....just love him.'' I replied with small smile.

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Tue Sep 11, 2012 5:44 pm

Anne listen attentively to her sister's answer, hanging on every words she tell.

Yes ... I think that I understand, in spending more time with him you have start to know him better and realize that you love him and I guess that the feelings have get even more strong and intense with time ?

She blush slighty as she recognize in what Sybille explain to her, what she have herself feel, fleetingly, mostly for one of her ladies, very close to her and also for the count who have rescue her.

I think I understand how it feel, you don't know how it came and suddenly, it's here in your heart and don't leave you once second and this person is in your mind all the time. But how to know if it's real life or just an ephemerous illusion ?

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Wed Sep 12, 2012 6:03 pm

I nodded to her,smilng to her. ''Yes that is right,now it is even more strong than was before.I love him with all my heart,he is everything to me'' I said and notice that she was blushing,wondering if she is in love,but decide not to ask her. ''You mean how do I know that it is true love?You know that what you feel is true love if you're willing to put the other person first, over and beyond your personal needs and desires.You'll know it's true love if you're willing to put your faith on someone else. You'll know it's true love if you believe in your heart, without a doubt, that the person with you is someone you want to speand your life for as long as you live.'' I said and sighed deeply.

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Wed Sep 12, 2012 9:15 pm

Anne smile, touched by sybille's words about her husband, feeling happy for her to be in love with her husband.

I can feel in your words how much you love him indeed.

She listen to her attentively, understanding her words, surprised by the intensity of the feelings that you have when you feel true love for someone that her sister explain to her.

Wow, I think I understand how it is, but I can't imagine feeling that much strong and intense feelings, I don't know if I will feel such feelings for someone one day, I think that I would like to feel it, but on the other hand, it make me feared.

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Thu Sep 13, 2012 6:21 pm

I smiled to her. ''Yes, I do love him very much.It is one of most wonderful feeling.'' I looked her softly. ''Of course you will,my dear!But you are still young,but when you times come for it and when you find a right person you will surlely feel the true love.'' I said.

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Thu Sep 13, 2012 7:56 pm

Anne smile in hearing her answer, feeling getting a dreamy as she imagine how it must feel, then her face take a more serious air as she answer her about her possible future love life.

I don't know, I can't imagine it, I doubt to ever resent such intenses for someone.

Thinking to her future with much apprehension, her eyes suddenly full of fear, she continue.

I fear that if this right person do exist, I will never encounter be able to love him because I am yet fianced to someone I don't like and will have to marry him and if this marriage is annulated, I will be married to someone else whom I will not have choice either. And, honestly I think that there isn't much chances that I feel true for a husband whom I will not have choice.

She sigh and add.

I fear to never know real love since I will not have the right to love anyone else than this future husband with whom I will have to marry and ... and bed, even if I don't love him nor even like him at all. It's rather terrifying to think to it and I try to prepare myself to this possibility, but it's hard.

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Fri Sep 14, 2012 6:42 pm

I nodded to her and spoke to her softly. ''Maybe you will learn to love him in time like I did or maybe you even will not marry him and marry someone you like.I know my dear I was scared as well and tried to preper myself to it,so I undrstand you''

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Fri Sep 14, 2012 9:56 pm

Anne look deep in her sister's brown eyes.

I hope that I will not marry him at all because if I am forced to marry him, even I will do my best for be a good wife, by duty and for make our parents proud, I doubt to can ever love him. I also hope to marry someone else, but he probably wouldn't be my choice either, so I don't know if I would like him, but I hope so.

She smile sadly at her sister's answer, feeling better as she can feel that she indeed understand what she feel.

I guess that it must has been fearing for you too, but it must has been easier since you love your husband, it must be even worse when you feel nothing for the man you had to marry and have to bed with. Sometimes, I try to imagine the night of my marriage, a group of courtiers escort me and my husband to a bedroom, I have to lay down a bed by his side, then they leave us alone and I find myself alone with this man I hardly know, and for whom I feel nothing and I have to let him do this to me.

She sigh.

And even if I try to get used to the idea, I always feel the same fear and disgust as I imagine it, because I feel, deep in my being and in all my body, that I don't want it.

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Sat Sep 15, 2012 2:47 pm

I smiled to her.'''You will be wonderful wife to any man,but yes if you marry someone else he will not be your choice.Father and brother will choose for you,it was always been like that,they choose for me,they will choose for you and than for Amelia no one ask us what we want and what we think.'' I said honestly and then nodded to her. ''I guess that it was been easier to me because I love my husband but yes it must been worse if you don't like that person at all.when I was you I tried to imagine the night of my marriage,but it was so much different than I thought so you should not think about it because you never now how would it be.No metter how much you don't like it ,you will must do it one day''

Subject: Re: Pond in the woods near to the palace Sun Sep 16, 2012 9:46 pm

Anne feel a hint of revolt about this everlasting use of marrying girls without mind about their advice or feeliings, but yet disillusioned, thinking that it will never change anyway.

Yes, it's very true, sister, unfortunately, I think that it will never change anyway ... alliances, tittles and money will always seem more important for the fathers than their children's happiness

She nodd, looking in her sister's eyes.

I know, it's certainly will be very hard for me if I have to do it with a man I don't like, like this duke that my father have choice for me.

She shurgg.

Indeed, I can't know by advance how it will be, but I know how it is for most of girls in nobles and royals marriages. Generally, they hardly know the man who they have to marry with before ceremony, so they don't really have links with him yet, so I can imagine how they feel when come the moment to bed with him and I know that it's risk to be like that for me too ... I try to accept the idea and to be prepared, but I hope that I will be lucky and that it will different like for you.

She sigh heavely, looking at the water of the pond.

I know that I will have to.

She swim toward opposite shore, trying to stop the images of what she wil have to do from coming in her mind, unsucessfully.

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